GirlsGetGoing - I choose happiness? Do you?

Carmen

01-28-2006, 10:33 PM

Wow! I think that all of you who are able to "choose" to be happy are very, very fortunate people. You are extremely blessed. And, I assume that you already know that. ;)

I trust you also know that people treading our earth who are downtrodden, full of despair, hopeless and suffering extreme unhappiness did not necessarily neglect to "choose" happiness. Sometimes, there are circumstances in one's life that overwhelm the ability to exercise that option.

For me personally, I don't think I can be anything except what I am. If I am happy, I'm happy. If I am sad, I am sad. So be it. One can attempt to conceal their emotions and feelings, for the benefit of others in their environment, and they often succeed in doing so. But, despite whether cloaking of their true feelings for the benefit of others succeeds or fails, their true feelings remain real to them.[/font]

QuiltAngel

01-29-2006, 03:16 PM

I feel my happiness comes from God. He makes it possible, even in those times that are not good. My joy is in knowing Him. Knowing that He is with me where I go and whatever I do. Where He leads me.

I have been on a few mission trips and have seen people's situations where we would think there is no way they could be happy. Many of them are very happy. This is what they know and they live their life the best they can. I sometimes watch and wonder if they aren't happier since they have fewer trappings of the world.

Some people do have hard, difficult lives and in those lives are not able to be happy. These people have my prayers as they deal with the hardships in their lives.

Luvmabug

01-29-2006, 03:37 PM

The sun is still going to come up in the morning. My life has no impact on that. I do have an option, hide under my covers, or go out and let the sunshine warm my face. I have had a portion of life's hardships and by God's grace my share of blessings. I prefer to live on the side of blessings! I think I'll choose happiness.

Kyleigh

01-29-2006, 04:44 PM

I'm still happy, even though I clicked to take the happiness challenge after I posted on this thread. Sometimes I'm too eager for my own good. ;)

Canadian Girl

01-29-2006, 04:55 PM

I'm one of those silly persons who is usually happy. You know the type? The one who honestly thinks that the "glass is half full" when everyone else is deploring that the "glass is half empty". I'm the one who sees some good in every situation, even the most hopeless.

Still, even for people like me, there are times when life just seems to throw too much sadness, too much hardships. In those times, I really have to remind myself to be happy.

I choose to always see the good side of every situation. I choose to smile, even when life is throwing all types of hardships at me. I choose happiness!!!

handywoman

01-29-2006, 08:01 PM

I have chosen to be an optimist. Alot of things in life can bring us down, but our outlook on life is the key. WhenI wake up and know that God has given me another day - that is a blessing. If I can see the good in people and situations, it helps to remain positive and thus gives me great happiness.

Sure - I have had my share of downs. But I choose to focus on the positives in my life.

Do I Choose Happiness? ABSOLUTELY!

Darlene

spasmo

01-29-2006, 09:09 PM

It is not always easy to choose happiness. Most days I don't have a problem with this as I think that life is too short to not be happy (or at least try to do everything in my power in find something that will remind me about how important my happiness is to me).

This concept is especially important to me because I set the tone for my department. I steer the ship and lead by example. When I had a problem with depression I made a point to seek treatment for myself and also for my family. This included my work family and all the constituents (who I usually call "customers"). I have been bery open about what steps I took to get my happiness back so when others are in a similar situation they will know that it is possible to get back on track.

I guess, now that I think about it, I do go out of my way to look for the silver lining... my life is more rewarding this way. I try to find something good about everyone (especially those that can get on my last nerve). This is sometimes not an easy task, but one that is very rewarding. I challenge everyone I know to do this.

I have been through more than my share of challenges. I survived two floods in four years. The last flood totalled my house and I lost most of my personal belongings. During this time period I watched my beloved father suffer from Alzhiemers and lose his battle. I also had turmoil at work... I was promoted at the expense of a dear friend. And I was caught in between an unhappy situation between my boss and his boss (each of who I am friends with). Later I survived staffing problems and many program changes necessitated by the legislature. Then I learned that I had to have a hysterectomy. It all happened to close together! I had no control over the events around me, but I DID have control about how I reacted to them.

It is not how he handle the easy things that define us... it is how we handle the challenges that are important.

So... YES... I choose happiness. Life is richer and more rewarding when I do.

Votelady

01-29-2006, 09:34 PM

I truly believe that you can choose how you are going to be every moment of every day. One of the first things my husband said to me was : you can choose to have a good time or a bad time and Iam having a good time."

piper_creek

01-29-2006, 10:55 PM

After going through a difficult period in my life, I am really making an attempt to choose to be happy. It isn't always easy, lots of times I have to make the decision when I get up in the morning and then remind myself throughout the day. I have off days, but overall I feel like I am moving in a postive direction.

Life is too short to dwell in unhappiness, so I choose to be happy.

Luvmabug

01-30-2006, 08:49 AM

:rofl: OK ladies,

I just received my first happiness challenge of the day!
My boss is off for a funeral, so we have an agency Pharmacist working today.
Well, my friend just called and told me who would be there - at it isn't good!!!
This individual talks non stop, doesn't prioritize, and lets the work pile up.
In the meantime, our poor customers are standing there looking at us like we are the three stooges! :rolleyes:
I do want you to know, I am drinking my morning coffee between laughing with a good belly laugh!
Monday morning with a new challenge and being tested right off the bat!
I'll check in tonight. ;)
Take care.

bumblebeequeen

01-30-2006, 04:59 PM

I truly believe that our thoughts and feelings are intertwined and feed and direct each other. If you choose happiness it doesn't mean that you won't ever feel sad or that if you do- you should pretend you don't.
What it means to me is that you learn to constantly direct your thoughts back towards the light, that you choose to be grateful for what you have or for what you've been spared.
I try to line my thoughts and feelings up with a slant towards the positive and what happens is that my energy creates more positive energy around me which only makes me happier. You don't have to be Pollyanna or Mary Sunshine (although there's nothing wrong with that!) you just have to know that your goal is happiness- for yourself and those around you.
Be sad when you're sad -it's part of life but direct your thoughts to the positive and sooner or later your feelings will follow.
Even if depression is one of your life's challenges, you can choose happiness by seeking professional help and reaching out for support when you need it.

I learned that happiness is a journey, not a destination when I was at one of my lowest points. Simply choosing to be grateful for a blue sky or the green leaves on a tree slowed my descent. Learning to choose happiness is one of the tools that keeps my life in balance and helps me even when I feel blue. And MOST of the time I am happy and so lucky!

Weiser

01-30-2006, 07:51 PM

Because I have hope in God, I can be joyful, but that doesn't always mean I am happy. I am still human, and I have had many hard knocks. As my grandfather just passed away, I know I will have to work on being happy--I know he is in a better place--or I will be depressed. So, because God has placed many good things in my life, I am going to try to look on teh good, and be happy, for the sake of myself, and my family.

emarray

01-30-2006, 08:28 PM

My friends used to call me "the eternal optimist" back in the day.

But times change, things happen, we sometimes find ourselves being forced to grow in ways we never expected--or wanted. And WE change.

This "eternal optimist" has been diagnosed with "biochemical depression" within the last several years, and that was quite a blow.

I don't know if it's related to KNOWING some of the wiring up there isn't working quite right or what, but it seems like over the last few years, the roller coaster of life has had WAY more hairpin turns and plummets than it's had highs and level straightaways or gentle curvew.

Toward the end of last year I was feeling terribly overwhelmed and wondering how I'd be able to cope if things kept up the way they'd been going.

But then I started realizing that everyone has his or her share of roller coaster rides too. The trick in surviving them is appreciating the level straightaways and gentle curves, making the most of the exhilarating highs, and understanding that having lows is part of having highs, and they too will pass in time. It's up to ME to re-learn how to balance on the hills and around the corners. *I* need to keep my hands on the controls and not sit back and wait for someone else to do it for me.

I have to leave behind the victim mentality (cuz goodness knows I've certainly felt like a victim being tossed back and forth in a war between the imps) and take charge of my own life.

I can't let the roller coaster ride me. It's not fair to me, to my family, to my friends, to everyone whose life connects with mine in some way.

Yes, I do need the help of medication and regular therapy, but I think that accepting those facts and using them as a platform, or foundation, or whatever, is part of re-learning to BE happy.

Tomorrow is January 31st. So far this year, my 2yo son has been diagnosed with severe enough nut allergies to warrant adding epi-pens everywhere he goes, my DH has been in a black ice-induced car accident. He walked away with a black eye and major headache; his car cost us nearly $3,000 to fix. We had to put our beloved dog of 13 years and 8 months to sleep very suddenly. I flew to Bermuda to walk in the Bermuda International Marathon with the Team in Training to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. One of my dearest friends was hospitalized with pre-eclampsia and two days later delivered her son via emergency c-section 9 weeks early. Both mommy and baby are doing well, but they've got a long road ahead. Another of our friends just found out their 1yo daughter needs to have open heart surgery. I've got a tight deadline at work that involves a LOT of little details and responsibility for something that will be a key factor in the way my division is perceived at the North American sales meeting next week. (Not too too much pressure there...LOL.)

There's something else I'm forgetting but if you've read this far I imagine it's pretty obvious that Murphy's Law is alive and well in my life. Last year I'd be ready to crawl under a blanket and hide forever. And actually, the thought is rather tempting right now anyway--I'm having trouble reaching my doctor for a refill to hold me until my next appointment since I couldn't get an appt. before my current prescription ran out. And I still have LOTS of times when I'm feeling overwhelmed and depressed.

But I'm NOT letting that stop me this year. *I* am in charge of my life. Nnot the biochemical changes going on in my body. *I* am in charge of how I respond to the ups and downs. I'm not a victim.

This year, I choose to be the one holding the controls. I'm choosing happiness.

Doesn't mean it's going to be an easy road, but it's not called a reward if you don't have to give a little something to earn it. Right?

emarray

01-30-2006, 08:29 PM

that was rather long-winded, hm? I should just throw that whole entry into a blog! :)

DayDreamer

01-30-2006, 11:01 PM

Reading my dictionary, I found that happiness means:
n 1: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy [ant: unhappiness] 2: emotions experienced when in a state of well-being [ant: sadness]

Synonyms: happy, fortunate, lucky, providential

From a Thesaurus:
Main Entry: happiness
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: satisfaction
Synonyms: beatitude, blessedness, bliss, cheer, cheerfulness, cheeriness, content, contentment, delectation, delight, delirium, ecstasy, elation, enchantment, enjoyment, euphoria, exhilaration, exuberance, felicity, gaiety, geniality, gladness, glee, good cheer, good humor, good spirits, hilarity, hopefulness, joviality, joy, jubilation, laughter, light-heartedness, merriment, mirth, optimism, paradise, playfulness, pleasure, prosperity, rejoicing, sanctity, seventh heaven, vivacity, well-being

Happiness is a state of well-being. Hmmm....These past two days I have taken time to thing about my life and if I'm truly happy, content, and satisfied. Yes, I am happy. There are things I am going to improve and there are things I need to change but it won't affect my overall happiness. Yes, there are times when I'm sad or blue, but overall, I'm a happy person and I like to be around happy people. Being happy makes me more productive. I guess for me it's true, happiness is a state of well-being. I choose happiness!

Sib2of11

01-31-2006, 06:16 AM

I just cancelled my Do You Choose Happiness Challenge not because I don't choose happiness (I do), but because no matter how hard I challenge myself, there are going to be times that I'm just not happy. As I posted earlier, when I have a bad day or if something in my life saddens me, I try to appear happy and most of the time it works. However, there are times that I can't make myself feel happy, no matter how I try or how hard I challenge myself. I choose happiness but I can't always be happy. I thought this would be one of the easier challenges.

Kathy

01-31-2006, 06:27 AM

Personally I don't see a problem. ;)

To me, choosing happiness is a decision...to adjust attitudes towards taking personal responsibility for our emotional behavior. While its not possible for anyone to be happy all the time, its the decision, the choosing, the understanding, that it is something we have a responsibility for deciding...for the sake of those around us.

Heavens knows that I'm not happy 100% of the time. Maybe not even 75% of the time. But what I recognize is that this is my responsibility ....to adjust my attitude for the sake of my family and friends. Not hiding my pain, but choosing to display evidence that I am not a victim of random icky circumstances.

Luvmabug

01-31-2006, 07:50 AM

Kathy, you are so right. It is MY responsibility to adjust my attitude for the sake of family and friends. I have worked with people that are unhappy with themselves and everyone around them gets up under their cloud of *poor me*. I have also worked with happy people, and the day is so much easier. Everyone works together and you have a sense of team work. Yesterday, I worked in a difficult situation,(please refer to my previous post) but I kept moving and was as helpful and cheerful as I could be. At the end of the day, the person I worked with asked me to ask the manager if she could work there on a regular basis, because she liked the atmosphere! Let's get going girls, we can make a difference!

djortega

01-31-2006, 07:59 AM

I choose happiness! i think that over the past year my health problems have caused me alot of stress but instead of being a unhappy miserable person, i have looked at them as a challenge to overcome in my life instead of a stumbling block! All in all i am a happy person who looks for the bright side in dark moments and i think that my belief in God has alot to do with it, everyone needs something to believe in, to pull them through the tough times! i also want to pass a happy attitude along to my children as they make their way into a sometimes mean and ugly world! so YES I CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!!!! ;)

Sib2of11

01-31-2006, 08:28 AM

But what I recognize is that this is my responsibility ....to adjust my attitude for the sake of my family and friends.

Yup, I do that. ;)

Poppie

01-31-2006, 08:54 AM

I don't think we always realize that happiness can be a choice, sometimes we feel that we have to give in to the situations around us.I try to choose happiness most of the time, I always try to look at things from the others point of view. I have found out that at home that I set the mood for my dh, ds and grandson, so I do try to not let them see when I am down. When I am at work, when a member comes in unhappy my response will set the tone for whatever business they have. When I am out shopping whether it is Walmart or the grocery store, showing kindness, talking to the cashier, and being upbeat makes a difference in their day, most of the time we don't acknowledge them unless we have a complaint. It makes me feel good to know that I can make a difference to someone else, even if I don't know them.This challenge really gives me alot to think about, iat is definitely food for thought. :bliss: Carol

MaggieSt

01-31-2006, 12:38 PM

I have a nightshirt with the "if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" saying on it! Love that saying! :D

When DH or DD says or does something that might have had me seeing red in the past, I try to step back a moment, count to 10 and see if it really is the 'end of the world' or not.

For example, DH bought a new car 2 months ago. Now he admits, he's not totally happy with it and is talking to dealers about trading it in for something else. In the past, I'd be going ballistic over this. But today, while I am still not totally happy over this, it's NOT the end of the world and I know he won't accept anything in trade if we cannot afford it.

It's annoying at best and not worth getting upset about. In fact, I'm sure in the future, we'll all get a good laugh over it. :rolleyes:

MaggieSt

01-31-2006, 12:42 PM

I always try to look at things from the others point of view. When I am out shopping whether it is Walmart or the grocery store, showing kindness, talking to the cashier, and being upbeat makes a difference in their day, most of the time we don't acknowledge them unless we have a complaint. It makes me feel good to know that I can make a difference to someone else, even if I don't know them. Carol

This is so true! Even if they ARE messing things up, I try to relax, breathe deep, and not get annoyed. I let them know it's okay to mess up, and can even acknowledge that they might be having a rough day or that they are trying their best. 9 times out of 10, things are not even the cashiers fault, but they are the ones it's so easy to yell at. A sincere smile and a pleasant thank you can make all the difference in the world. :thankyou:

jones74

01-31-2006, 02:03 PM

My happiness challenge has to do with my health and my family.

I have a chronic health condition. I have been batteling with it since 2002. It is so hard to be happy every day dealing with pain issues and dr visits. I absolutely know that my happiness and physical pain go hand in hand. On days when I feel happy I have fewer health challenges.

It is hard to be positive when you do not see your life bieng any better than it is now. I do take it one day at a time. I know I really need to focus on the happiness that I allready have in my life but may not see at the time.

Carla :queen:

emarray

01-31-2006, 10:58 PM

but I'm choosing to focus on the blessings I've been given rather than on the challenges. The challenges help me grow and learn; the blessings help keep me from feeling completely overwhelmed.

I really like what you said about choosing to adjust your attitude, Kathy. I'm not sure that's exactly it, but your last post really rang true for me and I'm so glad you put it there. You said much of what I was trying to say in my looooong post, only you said it much more succintly. :)

Thank you! I am so happy to have "met" you!

Be happy,

emarray

02-01-2006, 05:36 PM

crunchies0313

02-01-2006, 06:41 PM

Work is also the place where my happiness seems to be challenged. I am nothing like the people I work with. I am a real big oddball, but while I am in school it is a great place and company to work for. Everyday at work I have to remind myself, that this is not my career. I choose to be happy, because not only does it help to make the day go by faster, it makes me look at people a little different. When your happy your obviously in a better mood, and that makes a world of difference!!
"Happines is a choice that requires effort at time." -Anon.

emarray

02-01-2006, 08:37 PM

"Happines is a choice that requires effort at time." -Anon.

Oh, I like that one too! It's so true, and not only of happiness. It sounds a lot like marriage--requires a great deal of time and effort but is so worth it when you choose to do the work involved in BEING married. Same thing with having children. It's the toughest job, the most time- and energy-consuming job I've ever loved so much.

"You get what you pay for." There are soooo many ways to interpret that quote. Choose happiness and make the effort, and you'll be rewarded. Hmmmm.

:jumping: :bliss: :smiliewav

Weiser

02-01-2006, 09:24 PM

Well I don't feel like this :banana: but I am :hangin: . So all things considered, I think I am okay! :)

spasmo

02-01-2006, 09:57 PM

Choosing happiness means different things to me on different days... More coping strategies are required on some days than others. Even on the days that I am not overtly "radiating sunshine" I still know that there are places deep down inside me that are happy... even if they are not the ones that I am dealing with that day. I think that this is probably pretty normal and for me it is important to keep it all in perspective.

royallady

02-02-2006, 06:54 AM

I am always happy, You know that one person in the office that at 630 is smiling and saying "good Morning" to all. Well that is me. I am always suprised that there are so many that are annoyed by that. But I keep on smiling...

jones74

02-02-2006, 11:09 AM

I must say reading all the post in this thread has opened my eyes in alot of different ways. I have gotten alot of inspiration on taking control of my life. I decided if I am going to be happy!!

OrahDeb

02-02-2006, 07:01 PM

I just had to read the previous posts, so of course, I've been here for awhile. :grin: I have had my own health challenges in the previous year and a half: 4 surgeries--3 in the past 7 months--and several other medical procedures that have caused me to be in and out of many different doctors' offices every week. At times I've been VERY discouraged. It would be very easy to just throw up my hands and say "I Give Up". However, that is NOT ME. I do and have cried and I've asked friends :friends2: for help and prayers. But when I've been very down, the number one thing I've done is "count my blessings." That may sound trite but it really does work for me. I will sit down and actually write down exactly what I have that I AM thankful for. The list sometimes surprises me. I will have felt so negative and then I look at my list and I will think, "Wow, I really do have so much to be grateful for." The second thing I do to get me out of a blue funk is to serve someone else. That may also sound hokey to some but honestly, it has helped me even after counting my blessings. In the times of my life when I have felt the most worthless, when I have had the chance to go out and do some service for someone else, even a small service, I have known that I was of worth in the world. :wave: I have been able to make a difference for that person and the feeling is better than any other feeling. So yes, I choose happiness. I know that I will not always be happy. At times when I'm not, I will choose the support of friends and family. I will also choose to find ways to serve others. I will choose to count my blessings and thank God for the ones I still have. :bliss:

jasper

02-02-2006, 11:24 PM

I decided to take this challenge because if I really needed to make a conscious effort to be happy it is this week.
I've always tried to be a positive person, and especially when I go to work I try to put on a happy face.
When things are not going well it's easy to wallow in self pity and take the "easy" road . When my DH and I did a pre marriage course at the Church where we married, I took to a bible verse Matthew 7; 13-14 "The Narrow Gate"
Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Apart from the obvious spiritual meaning of this verse, I think it serves as a reminder that life isn't always going to be perfect, that's just the way it is.
15 years ago I typed up this verse, laminated it and put it on the fridge ( the minister asked me to make one for him too) I haven't had it out since we moved to this house almost 3 years ago, I think it needs to be back out.
Choosing happiness when life is good is easy, but chosing it when things aren't so good is harder, that's why I need to chose it now!!!

SMILEGYPSEE

02-03-2006, 08:59 AM

I strive to wake up everyday and start fresh with a smile and hope that it will be a great day (have to work harder towards this sometimes)! I have a sign that I always leave face up on my computer when I come in that says "NEW DAY :)." It is sometimes difficult like SIB2of11 said, to smile all the time. Just seeing other people smile helps me make it through the day.

I choose happiness because it makes everything in my life a bit easier to live through and those around me benefit from it as well. So Happiness it is!!

Peachy

02-03-2006, 10:07 AM

I choose happiness, because it is infectious. I've been through so much this past year that keeping a positive happy, healthy attitude makes so much difference. There are some things in life that you can change, but there are some that you can't. Why waste time being unhappy about things you have no conrtol over? It makes me feel better to be happy, I hope that my health can listen to this too!!!!!

SouthDakotaSherry

02-04-2006, 12:24 PM

During my divorce in 2000, I could barely drag myself out of bed each morning. But as I would lay there trying to find a way to get up, my principal's voice would enter my head. Every morning he ended the announcements with, "Have a great day or not. The choice is yours!" Every morning I would choose to have a great day. Sometimes it was a struggle, but worth every moment. Now when the good times are here, I remember the tough ones with pride that I chose the hard path and it was worth it!

ertech05

02-04-2006, 01:55 PM

This is a great challenge for me..
I am going to choose happiness..
I am recovering from a hysterectomy and with emotions on the rampage this could be hard..
You know I was watching GroundHog Day with Bill Murrary and the movie reminded of this challenege..
HE was reliving the same day over and over and each time he woke up he had to CHOOSE wether to be happy or not..
If you look at the progress of the movie-when he woke up sad or upset that it was the same day again he moped around or pouted..
But when he woke up-and CHOSE to be happt he got and would focus on making other people happy...
Like bringing donuts to his co-workers...Or when he chose to help the homeless man.
Today I have chose to be happy- because I am so blessed by what I have and not having to do without like some parts of the world...
And tomorrow I chose to be happy because I am going to go back to church and my husband is coming home...
I will be happy to have this badge..

donnakay31

02-04-2006, 09:08 PM

I grew up in a house where my mother was always depressed. I chose to not take on the attitudes (e.g. not to trust anyone, a friend will always stab you in the back and others) that she tried to instill in me while I was growing up.

After I was married, I wanted to have a child of my own and during the 12 years of my marriage, I would often become very sad becuase I didn't have one. Then, my body became sick and I had to make the decision to have a hysterectomy. Hubby and I will be married for 14 years this April. I have chosen to be happy that I have my health and not dwell on the loss of a possible child that I brought into the world.

Parrothead

02-05-2006, 01:54 PM

I have spent the last 9 months having a very hard time being happy. DH and I are in the midst of a divorce, not something I want or am happy about. He decided he has been unhappy for years and wants to make himself happy, put himself first for a change (OK and what did I do for more than 28 years - put him first). This past week we reached a settlement agreement, it will be final in a few months, due to health insurance, he has to keep me on his policy or pay the COBRA waiting 4 months is cheaper.

Thank you for this challenge! I will choose to be happy and remember what I do still have in my life - 2 grown kids and a wonderful grandson, my incredible mom, supportive sisters and brother. Also my cats - I adopted 2 the week after DH moved out, I volunteer at the local animal shelter. I don't know if it was because of the agreement and finally accepting that the end is near, but today I adopted another kitty. He can't come home til tomorrow though, he has to go to the vet tomorrow to be neutered. I'm also healthy.

I have a lot to be happy about! I will be happy!

SouthDakotaSherry

02-05-2006, 02:04 PM

Mary Lou,

I did the divorce thing after 17 years of marriage and it is tough to choose to be happy. I refuse to let anyone control me though and discovered that when I chose to be unhappy, it left my ex in control. Show him you are not going to let him do that. Put yourself first. Write me on the tough days - I remember them all so well - and we will get through them together!

Sherry

ertech05

02-05-2006, 02:20 PM

This is day 2 of me choosing to be happy...
I had a rough morning with hormones but beneath it all i was happy...
This was a great challenege for me and I am glad that I accepted it...

SouthDakotaSherry

02-05-2006, 02:23 PM

Hang on, Cynthia. Those hormones will balance out! I promise!

QuiltAngel

02-06-2006, 09:43 AM

My niece just returned from 2 weeks in Aceh Indonesia. She taught English in their schools during this time. She sent us photos and an email. One thing she noted and we can see in the photos is that these people who lost much a little over a year ago were able to find happiness. Many lost their whole lives, family and possessions. Her observation was that these people could find things to be happy about. Wow!

My life has not had this kind of despair and I feel that if these people (who are still trying to rebuild their lives) can find things to be happy about, I should too.

Mori

02-06-2006, 11:37 PM

I've always been strong & resilient despite the many hurdles life has thrown my way. I've faced many disappointments, yet out of the midst of despair I've always managed to emerge from my coccoon. This past year has been the worst I've ever had to face, but I pulled through it all & "I choose to be happy! :) "

sagespot

02-07-2006, 05:37 AM

I choose happiness because life is short. Plain and simple.

I've spent the last year of my life fighting cancer and I've come to realize that life can be VERY short - that I must live happy now, because to do otherwise would be a waste.

Time is precious just as much as life. To be "full" I realized that I must "roll" with what I cannot change. There are some days when this is difficult and I want to be really angry and depressed, but I remember what I want out of each day - to be "full." And fullness to me is simply happiness. :)

Sage

Mori

02-07-2006, 07:47 AM

This is day 2 of "choosing happiness" for me & I really feel inspired that I've made that choice! I choose happiness because I want to live, laugh, love & celebrate each moment! :sunny:

Doodles

02-07-2006, 08:40 PM

With the deaths of 2 immediate family members at the end of the year, we could use a little happiness.

I choose happiness!! I need to get my family out of this funk they are in. We used to have so much fun. Right now all we do is snap at each other...I am going to make an effort to make them smile their beautiful smiles once again. :)

Debbi

babsRN

02-08-2006, 04:28 PM

Despite what some may infer from some of my recent posts on a particular thread, I always choose happiness. Once in awhile I'll get overwhelmed and the other stuff will flood (and cut me some slack, I'm 1 week postop today, been laying around housebound totally alone) but that doesn't usually last long. Reality is what it is, but it's what we do with that reality that makes the difference. Not every obstacle can be (or should be) overcome...but it can be faced and accepted for what it is, and maybe it's a sign that we need to look in another direction. I have also said before that sometimes "Turning the other cheek" means you look in another direction while it's turned there....

I don't like little platitudes like "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" ... etc...I think they tend to make light of the seriousness of life's real problems. Instead, I opt for a more cautious optimism, allowing oneself to feel the pain, to vent the anger, to BE who they ARE...because it is only through being genuine that we can be genuinely happy. Anything else is a fraud.

I choose to be happy and I look at happiness as an overall frame of mind. It comes from contentment and acceptance and peace and faith, even in the midst of a storm. It is learned. It is earned. Happiness is resilience; happiness is seeing the possibility that a silver lining may actually exist in a cloud, even when the cloud itself is too thick to see anything but the rain. Happiness is the ability to find joy in the little pleasures of life. It is accepting one's limitations and challenging oneself to move beyond, but not losing sight of the journey to that destination because we realize that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Happiness is being able to live in the moment and appreciate the gift of that moment. It is being able to find a purpose in the horrible things that happen to us so that we heal. I have found that some of the stuff I've lived through in life makes me a better, more compassionate and empathetic nurse, for example - use my own experiences to help someone else going through the same things.

I choose to do those things and to be those things. I choose to be happy. Life is too short to be anything else.

Mori

02-08-2006, 06:20 PM

This is my second day of choosing happiness & I'm hoping to stay in that mindset. It's easier said than done,but I'm going to try my best to stick to it. I choose happiness because life is precious & we shouldn't waste it being unhappy. I Celebrate happiness! :celebrate

Parrothead

02-09-2006, 11:49 AM

I completed my two days of choosing to be happy. I focused on my grandson and our new kitty (it's hard to be sad when you have a ktten playing with everything and showing the adult cats who's the boss!) I also forced myself to to something for myself to help me (I hope) continue on the path to happiness. I went to a divorce support group last night. It was really hard, and a huge step, but by doing it I have helped myself realize that I can do things on my own, and I can be responsible for my own happiness and well being.

shoppergirl

02-09-2006, 03:04 PM

It's hard to stay positive with negative people at work. I'm sure others see you as being positive and that is making an impact. That's great!

I agree with you Kate. You by chance do not work in the automotive industry do you? I read that you should visualize "yourself" engulfed in light when surrounded by negative people. That can be difficult!

reeselmt

02-10-2006, 06:48 AM

I have chosen happiness. Yes, life can hand us difficult situations, conflicts & hard times. I think it is important that we deal with what may cause our unhappiness but it is important to focus on the the positive side of what troubles us.

Look on the bright side of life!

Reeselmt :queen:

BethanyInWCSC

02-10-2006, 12:33 PM

I choose happiness because I have found even in the difficult times, there are life lessons for me to learn. I can either be miserable about it or accept it and be as happy as I can given the circumstances. I purposely look for lessons I can learn in any situation that comes my way. Some of those lessons are harder to find, but they are always there somewhere.
Some of my friends call me Pollyanna for this reason ;) "Let's all sing the glad song" haha.

Lady Bug

02-12-2006, 08:37 AM

I agree that happiness is a choice. Like some have mentioned, life deals us some cruel blows - death, serious illnesses, financial hardships, poor work situations, etc. But we all still have a choice. Lest you disagree, I can give you two very personal examples.

A member of our staff found a lump in her breast. She came in all in tears (understandable), was in and out of work for two weeks awaiting a mammogram. The result was no cancer - not a thing to worry about. By then the whole school was affected and down for her.

When I received the recall on my mammogram, I absolutely assumed it was just a spot on the X-ray. At the recall the radiologist came in to tell me that my internist and a surgeon had already been called. I was absolutely blown away. Though we accepted that it was apparently cancer, I told only one person on our staff (my best friend and co-worker). Only after the stereo tactic biopsy confirmed it and surgery had been scheduled, did I tell anyone (unavoidable to keep it quiet by then). No one suspected that I was having any problems whatsoever.

Our workplace is not an easy one. Our students are profoundly mentally and physically disabled. I am sitting here now with a cold and sore throat, because a parent refused to believe that her son was ill and continued to send him to school. But, I know that I set the tone for that classroom. My assistants rely on me to keep the environment a happy place even as we wipe drool, poop, feed, change diapers, etc. Our backs ache (can't stop that), our hands are chapped from washing repeatedly, etc.

Our sons have given us difficult times. But every day I smile at members of our staff, listen when they need an ear, offer a shoulder and word of wisdom when possible, etc. Other than my best friend and husband, I do not share negative information with others. It only brings them down and makes me feel worse. I smile and go on.

I know this is longwinded. My point is, we all can choose to be drama queens and bring everyone down with us; or we can choose to continue with our daily lives, seeking out the good of each day. We do set the tone at work, at home, etc.

sphinx

02-12-2006, 09:03 AM

As someone who has long suffered with Bipolar disorder, happiness has been a challenge for me. Recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis has made happiness even more of a challenge. But I have a wonderful family: a husband that cares for me and helps me when I need it, loves me unconditionally, and makes me laugh when I am at my lowest. My 2 wonderful children, and my supportive parents.I have a job I love. I am not ready to give up and melt away. I have *chosen* happiness, and am living my life in a positive manor, which haleps me as I try to overcome the challenges set before me. I chose not to dwell in sadness, and while I have bad days, like everyone else, overall I have a very good life, and am grateful for that.

jcme

02-12-2006, 01:35 PM

Not everything in life is positive, and I believe happiness is a result in how we deal with life in general. There are days when I will be sad, but as long as that sadness doesn't control my life, I believe I have chosen to be happy.

spasmo

02-12-2006, 09:17 PM

I choose happiness because I DO get to choose... it does not mean that I am always "wildly happy" it may mean that I am coping with something unpleasant. It is not always the easiest of choices... as life throws us some doozies... but how it is how we elect to respond to the doozies that define us. For me the "doozie response" goes hand-in-hand with putting things in perspective.

Last week there were some things at work that REALLY got me down. Instead of just being unhappy about it (my first response) I stopped and thought about what all about the situation was REALLY bothering me and then thinking about if there were any of those things I could do anything about. I realized that one of the things that disturbed me was that it felt like I had wasted yet another day on the project. So I realized that I could feel better if I spent part of the day doing something constructive and I cleaned out my jeep. It took me an hour to get all the clutter out and put up. I DID feel better after I accomplished something. I STILL know that there are other elements on the project that I do not have control over, but at least I was able to be more philosophical about the whole thing afterwards.

I choose happiness because it is how I want to live.

Tennile

02-12-2006, 10:02 PM

OK i choose the happiness challage because i am happy challaged right now..if that makes any sense. Well for 2 days i have tried to look at the up side of things and tried to let things roll off. Well yesterday it was looking bad. Till i sat down and thought last night about all the things i have to be happy about. Well needless to say i woke up in a happy mood. Got up and cleaned all day. Played music and felt in a good mood. Thank you for this challage...i feel i shouldn't let it stop here..i need to continue it every time i feel down.

lesliesnini

02-13-2006, 12:53 PM

About 10 years ago, as our family was really struggling through some difficult things, I learned that I could laugh or I could cry. I decided that laughing was a lot more fun!

One of my favorite things to do is to tell stories on myself--things that would have horrified me before (like faliing up the stairs), to get others to laugh with me.

I have a friend who is recovering from a stroke, and together we laugh a lot. I think it is really helping her.

God has a great sense of humor and I believe He wants us to use ours as well.

spasmo

02-13-2006, 06:38 PM

OK... day one of "officially choosing happiness", going back to work from being on vacation and going on the patch to quit smoking made me wonder what exactly I was thinking last night when I picked out these challenges. But I put on some cool earrings before I left the house and I relived my mini-vacation in my mind whenever the "whine and cheese" factor got a bit high around me. I bet the others wondered why I had a smile on my face... I made it through!

Jennieb67

02-13-2006, 09:39 PM

I choose happiness because I know that I have God on my side. I do my best to always be the best in all I do but do not get upset when I fail. :D

AgingGracefully

02-14-2006, 11:54 AM

I think I took happiness for granted for a long time. Even if someone was having a "bad" day", we considered ourselves to be a happy family. Then the bad times hit, and happiness was hard to come by. During this time someone recommended to me that I try and find laughter every day and that would make me feel better. I did just that. I no longer take happiness for granted. Others around can really impact your mood and feelings, which means we have a responsiblity to others around us. Also keep in mind that it is truly more exhausting to be unhappy than it is to be happy. Be happy and smile :) Practice acts of kindness no matter how small. You can make a difference in your life and others.
Kathy :woohoo:

AgingGracefully

02-14-2006, 01:39 PM

Over my lunch hour today, I went to a local scrapbooking store to take a class. The lady sitting next to me was getting ready to leave, but these packages of reallly cute teddy bears that she was purchasing for her pages. I asked her where she got them, and she said she taken the last one, but the lady that was teaching the class makes them. I asked the instructor if she would make me one and described the page I wanted to put it on etc. The lady that was getting ready to purchase these little bears, told me to take one of hers, that she really didn't need them all. I thanked her and we all had a good laugh. About two hours later I was leaving a restaurant and there she was having lunch with someone. I had my daughter with me, and I had to tell the bear stoy and how this lady had shared her bears with me. Everyone had a good laugh, but it just goes to show that happiness and kindness can truly be passed on.

Kathy :hug:

BBShopMom

02-14-2006, 02:50 PM

Think about it. Just ask anyone who was raised by an unhappy mother how this home environment affected them.

Gee. I never really thought about this. I was definately raised by an unhappy mother. I find myself doing everything I can to "not" be like her. Not that she was a bad mother - not at all. She was just not a "happy" person in my memory.

I not so sure that I choose to be happy as much as I choose to accept things for what they are and not be too bothered or upset by things that are out of my control - even if it drives some of my friends and my husband crazy sometimes! One of my favorite sayings is "It is what it is" and it makes them nuts! They make fun and call me Zen-related names. :cool: I'm cool with that!

ashanti1922

02-14-2006, 02:52 PM

I choose Happiness also! Thank you for this group.

tinkerbell

02-14-2006, 02:57 PM

Hi Girls! I'm new here, but this looks like such a fun site!

I, too, choose happiness, since it's so much better than the alternative. I was lucky enough to be born a naturally cheerful person, but last year our family was blindsided when our youngest, 24 yr. old daughter, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Although this is a highly curable disease, it's still cancer, and it's still scary. My husband and I gathered a lot of our strength from Allyson, who faced her ordeal head on. After 5 months of chemo and radiation, she was declared cancer free and even got married on the beach in Oahu in July! What a wonderful celebration of Ally's life, John & Ally's love, and God's healing power!

It would have been easier many of those days for me to cry all day (believe me, I sure felt like it!). But I decided that if my daugher could face this, so could I. The good Lord gave us the strength we needed for each day, and we are SO grateful for all our blessings.

Have a great day!
Becky

ashanti1922

02-14-2006, 03:03 PM

Becky you are doing great, keep your head up!

ashanti1922

02-14-2006, 03:35 PM

I choose Happiness. I lost my father unexpectantly after Christmas and since then I have been made executor of his estate. VERY stressful and at times I want to give up and cry but I press on. Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy EVERYDAY. IT IS MY CHOICE NO ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY. I CHOOSE NOT TO GIVE MY HAPPINESS AWAY WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.

tinkerbell

02-14-2006, 04:26 PM

God bless you, Sweetie! You've been dealt a hand that you wouldn't have chosen, but because of your attitude, you WILL get through this!

Becky

danasaunt

02-14-2006, 05:53 PM

Actually, happiness is MORE than a state of mind. If your mind(and/or) body isnt happy it is close to impossilbe to BE happy. Im am DEFINATELY at this point. Nothing makes me happy and I cant seem to get out of it...I use to be the first one to make jokes and love it- to laugh, :( :confused: but now all I want to do is stay home-miserable.. Im at my wits end..Its just too much sometimes. Especially when everyone close to you cant help and are stumped as what to do..I just trudge on hoping something will change...

spasmo

02-14-2006, 08:11 PM

Choosing happiness today meant remembering to choose humor. Had it not been for humor I would have gotten pretty stressed and frustrated. Keeping it in perspective helped A LOT too. Ultimately I did get everything I needed to accomplished, but I was suprised that it all took much longer than I thought it would. Some days are just like that. If all days were the same I really would get bored. When I was driving home instead of being frustrated I was just glad the day was over and that it all got done.

Beachgirl

02-15-2006, 06:11 AM

I CHOOSE happiness!!!

I used to hide from my feelings, numb myself out, because I couldn't cope with my emotional pain and anxiety.

I chose sobriety and a 12 step progam and it changed my life in ways years of therapy could not.

My life challenges have not improved in fact they have become more difficult and abundant, but my attitude and thinking have.

I have never been happier and am grateful everyday to be alive.

Simply_Donna

02-15-2006, 08:05 AM

I am going to choose to be happy! I have been told I don't smile very often. I know that's not entirely true. I am going to make more of an effort to smile more for the next two days and see how that changes things/people around me. I definitely want to have smile wrinkles instead of frown wrinkles!!!

BBShopMom

02-15-2006, 10:31 AM

Okay - this is my first full day of choosing happiness. So far it's been a struggle but is getting better! I woke up into a bad day health wise but now have made it through the morning and am feeling better. I decided not to let the health issues get to me today. Instead of just giving in and going back to bed, I got up from the desk and did a couple of other "just for me" kind of things until I was feeling better. I also told myself that I wouldn't feel any guilt for taking a break for me.

It's obvious that positive self talk will make your outlook and attitude better. The fact that I talk to God probably doesn't hurt either!

BBShopMom

02-15-2006, 10:33 AM

I CHOOSE happiness!!!

Yay for Beachgirl!!!!

:cheerlead

Truly an inspiration!

ashanti1922

02-15-2006, 11:41 AM

I was having a bad day that I turned around. I am dealing with eating issues and trying to make better choices. Well at work someone always has an opnion no matter what I do. For example istead of a cke I will get orange juice. Well the comments i have heard is that organges have too many carbs. well dang. I am still doing better than I was and I need the vitamins in the orange juice. It is hard for me sometimes to not let other peoples comments get me down. How do yall deal with that?

ashanti1922

02-15-2006, 11:42 AM

I forgot to add this, I work in an area with some very petty bitter people. They will do spiteful things like talk around me, leave me out of meetings, conversations, etc. This is very hard for me to over come. I find myself getting bitter towards them. when I try to be overly nice I feel fake. Maybe I should pray more so that it does not affect me.

jcme

02-15-2006, 05:23 PM

I had just signed up for this challenge when I played volleyball the other night. Ever since I returned to playing after taking a hiatus due to surgery last fall, I've been off my game. Each week I get more frustrated with myself because I'm not playing like I used to. This week, while beating myself up for playing so poorly, this challenge popped into my head. I had chosen happieness and here I was miserable because I was playing poorly. A few months ago, I wasn't allowed to play and now I can...it is just taking time to get back into the rythym and I should be having fun. As soon I thought about the fact that I chose happiness, my whole attitude changed.

LavenderMoose

02-15-2006, 06:55 PM

I agree with all of you, happiness IS a choice sometimes. I know I'm sorta a big mush mush...whenever I'm at the store or out in public and someone is rude to me...some people might be rude back and mean. Being a mush mush, I sorta cower. But lately I've decided to be friendly and and happy. Maybe that person is having a horrible day or something horrible is going on in their life. So, I smile and be happy and patient and try to spread a little happiness around.
It's sorta neat to smile at people on the street, and see them look surprised and then smile back.

Lady Bug

02-16-2006, 06:43 AM

I have completed my two days of the happiness challenge. I have got to say that making a "game" out of it helped tremendously. We have had two children come with chicken pox (inspite of telling their parents - NO vesicles (blisters)), one with a continually green snotty nose, and a couple with diarrhea !! My co-workers had a little more trouble with this happy thing than I did. I kept laughing and telling them it was a "Challenge Day". They quickly told me that I was the one that took the challenge - NOT them - :D . I think they still got a bit of the sunshine. I have to say that by Wed. my blood pressure shot to stroke level and they sent me home. My Dr. took me out of work for the rest of the week. I guess even my happy attitude couldn't defeat the physical problem. :rolleyes:

Simply_Donna

02-16-2006, 06:46 AM

Good for you LavenderMoose! Kill 'em with kindness!!!

ashanti1922

02-16-2006, 06:50 AM

Great job. This was a great challenge. Perfect time frame, chosing happiness takes effort. Thanks moderator!!!

Please present this challenge again in the near future.

BBShopMom

02-16-2006, 09:34 AM

Okay - it's been two days now and I'm continuing to do better of keeping a "happy" attitude. I have always tried to be very positive but I made special effort to choose to be happy and it really made a difference. I certainly did let negativity creep in and now I know how to make every day the best day it can be for me!

This has been a great challange. Nice a short but a great reminder of how we should live every day! Thanks!

danasaunt

02-16-2006, 09:52 AM

Yes--I have made a big effort to be Happy-even when other people are not>> the people that look at you funny when you smile at them>>> I think its hillarious>. Cuz they do wonder "whats up with that person" and I just keep smiling like I have a BIG secret and wouldnt they like to know it. Hey it gets me by!!!

Kathysgirls

02-16-2006, 10:08 AM

The deffinition of " Happiness " is extreme contentment.
I choose to be happy. I am content and if I am not I look to what the problem may be and then try to find the solution.

Kathy

Lavendergrey

02-16-2006, 03:57 PM

Not only do I choose happiness...I choose joy! Now, that's not to say that I don't have days when I feel a bit down, and maybe things may happen in the course of a day to bring me down...but I really try to look at things in a positive way. Not only does it bring light into the lives of the people around me, it also helps me to feel better and handle the things that do threaten to take away my joy and happiness. :o

RoseDawn

02-16-2006, 04:16 PM

I read this email someone sent me the other day about a man who wakes up every morning. "I have a choice each morning, I can either say to myself, I choose to be happy...or I choose to be miserable..." So he chose to be happy. I belive that, we all have that choice and its that simple. Changing your attitude and see your worldview change 360 degrees. So, YES, I choose happiness, its how we approach life towards whatever hits us in the face of adversity.

Full throttle...full on...Happiness, bliss & JOY

In peace, life & Laughter...Rose :)

Simply_Donna

02-17-2006, 07:21 AM

This is my "full" second day and I feel like I am smiling more already just by making a conscience effort to do so. This could turn into that new hobby I am looking for lol!!!

Lady Bug

02-17-2006, 05:13 PM

This is my "full" second day and I feel like I am smiling more already just by making a conscience effort to do so. This could turn into that new hobby I am looking for lol!!!

Donna, I agree. It does seem like a hobby! :D For me, it was sort of like a game. When things were not going well, I would smile and say okay, let me turn this around. I kept calling them "challenge days" - lol. It gets really interesting as you try to find the up side of bad situations!! :)

LavenderMoose

02-18-2006, 08:18 AM

I took this challenge a few days ago, and it's sorta funny how you challenge something and then things come along to challenge you!
I'm glad I did this tho. My husband had to be out of town for a few days and I had to take care of my step son. He's 13 and at a really difficult age at times. He reallly tries my patience, and it's hard because I feel as a step-parent I'm limited to what I can do or say.
After I did the challenge, there were tons of times these past few days when I wanted to walk away from our stepson and be discouraged or upset. But I challenged myself to be happy. Yesterday he was especially grumpy and verbal before his mom picked him up. But i said to him, you just have to choose to be happy, JJ. So I helped him pack his stuff, and watch for his mom, and encouraged him to be happy too. This helped me, because usually I'm discouraged because I'm not used to him and his moodiness. (My kids were always so easy going.) So this challenge really helped me these past few days. I'm going to remember this and try to choose happiness every day!!!
:) <--a happy little moosey

spasmo

02-18-2006, 09:44 AM

Good deal Lavender Moose! :cheerlead

YEAH!!!!!!

donna6171

02-18-2006, 06:22 PM

I also have chosen to be happy. There are days when I don't feel like I am, so I look in the mirror and think about my blessings. This helps me as I think about all the good in my life and remember those who aren't as well off. Since I live only minutes from downtown New Orleans, I see unhappy people everyday. I focus on the good in my life.

snobelle

02-19-2006, 02:29 AM

I always try to be happy even though I have had and do still have a lot of unhappiness in my life.

Why should I be miserable? It only makes things seem worse and it brings others around you down as well. So, I always try to make the best out of everything......I'm not saying I'm always a "bundle of joy", but for the most part, I'm pretty good. Those who know me always think of me as a happy person, with an unflapable nature.

Life is too short to be sad, or unhappy........So yes, I choose to be happy :p as much as possible. It brings sunshine into your day, and to those around you.

I always live by the adage "it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown......so you get less wrinkles"!!

Happiness is contagious......spread it around.:D

homeschooling_momma

02-19-2006, 06:05 PM

I decided with the starting of the year, that I was going to make 2006 a year of happiness.....

My Mother suffered for 18 months with Lou Gehrigs Disease (motor neuron disease, ALS)...and she passed away Oct. 29, 2005 and I want you to know those 18 mts were some of the best and worst times of my life.

After Mommie passed away, I started taking such a hard look at myself and I realized I was wasting way too much time 1. feeling sorry for myself 2. being way to depressed over nothing....

so I made the conscious decision

happiness for me in 2006...or should I say starting in 2006.

God bless,

Kimberly

allietwo

02-20-2006, 11:08 AM

:smiliewav I choose hapiness. Why? For a big part of my life I was very negative and always looked for the "bad" in things and what could go wrong. I got a major wake up call about 6 years ago when I found out that I had breast cancer.

From that point on I chose to change. First thing? I starting riding roller-coasters. Literally. I figured if I could handle cancer, I could handle anything.

Now I am not successful at this every day, in fact sometimes it is really hard to be positive and happy. But having had major surgery again recently I have found that I have a LOT to be thankful for and to be happy about.

I have proven to myself that I am strong. Now I am ready to make the most out of my life and be happy. I am focused on finding the joy in everything that happens everyday--no matter what it is. With that in mind, I really CAN do anything!
:smiliewav

these smilies crack me up!

homeschooling_momma

02-20-2006, 11:11 AM

Today has dawned yet another cold one outside, but I find the fire of happiness still burning deep within.

There are so many things that we have to be thankful for, to have happiness about that a 2 day challenge seems just the smallest thing to do :) but you know in sometimes that we are low those 2 days are fondly remembered.

I think that its good that this is here!

We've got so much to look forward to ladies!

God bless,
Kimberly

NeNe

02-20-2006, 06:36 PM

I am choosing the happy challenge because I want to be happy. I want to make other people happy too. Right now there are so many people in out state that have lost everything including the people in my family.

When I look at my life I need to remember that there are people out there that have it way worse than me I should be grateful for what I have. I also know that if you're happy with yourself then you'll be able to make other people happy too and that is what I want to do the most.

So, I am going to take one day at a time and wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and say "I am going to be happy today!" I am going to go out into the world and stop wasting precious time on things that don't really matter anyway.

I wish happiness to all of you!

"IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE, YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT."

JenniferC

02-20-2006, 10:39 PM

I choose happiness because I want to raise happy and content kids. I want a husband who comes home and actually likes being here. I want to look forward to each day in stead of dreading it.

JenniferC

02-20-2006, 10:41 PM

It occurs to me that what I really need is inner joy...happiness based on outside things will always be fleeting. But if I carry joy deep down, circumstances can't really touch that!

purplebutterfly

02-21-2006, 09:33 AM

I am choosing to not let my life's problems at this moment get me down. My husband lost his job, but he is out there looking for another one. This is only a temporary situation and not the end of the world. Life is what you make it, and I do have much to be thankful for.

SnoSpud

02-21-2006, 10:20 AM

I'm normally a happy person but when I feel myself feeling down, I try to find something that will make me laugh or smile. Whether it be playing with dogs, watching a funny movie, or just talking about how I'm feeling with a close friend. I honestly believe that living a "happy" life makes you stronger, healthier and obviously more fulfilled!

I CHOOSE HAPPINESS! :D :D :D

maplef49

02-21-2006, 10:25 AM

I love being happy. I love all my emotions including sadness, anger and fear. They serve a purpose for me as well. When I'm sad I know there is somethnig I need to work through and when I'm angry I know there is an issue with a person or situation, my fault or not that needs to be resolved. When I feel afraid I know there might be danger afoot and I need to become more aware of my surroundings and or company. Happiness is a wonderful thing but so are all the other emotions that serve me so well.

Do I choose happiness over any other emotion? NO! Although it feels the best it doesn't serve me any more than the others.

Through all of my emotional changes I try to remain tempered so as to be tolerable and non toxic to others.

If someone said, "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" I would be one of the people clapping.

violetrose

02-21-2006, 07:57 PM

When I saw this challenge and thread, I had to pipe in! Clinical depression runs in my family and so, long before I knew what depression was, I was around people that were always so "negative." I knew I didn't want to live my life like that.
Six years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and there have been some hard times when I was down and didn't think I could get back up again, but I always did. The main reasons - my children and my faith. I knew the Lord would get me through and I didn't want my girls growing up seeing someone "down" all the time.
Now I work as a social worker in a nursing home and I can tell you, that every day I leave there I thank the Lord for the blessings he has given me. No matter what struggles or trials I have, I appreciate every day of the wonderful life that I have.

TarHeelMom

02-21-2006, 08:22 PM

I choose Happiness!! I have always been a happy upbeat person. I feel life goes by better if you make lemonade out of the lemons. I try to count my blessings instead of counting my problems. This helps me get through the storms in life. We all have storms in our life but I have learned to have faith. God has never given anything that I couldnt handle. I thank Him daily for all my blessings.

elmsap

02-21-2006, 08:55 PM

Happy is as happy does. One can be very unhappy yet meet all with a big smile and a twinkle in their eye. Happiness can be very deceptive. You don't want to disapoint those who don't want you unhappy, it is easier to just smile and let them be happy. Do what you can to make and keep them happy whether your really happy or not.

SmallSpaz

02-21-2006, 10:28 PM

I have decided to choose happiness! I am tired of being sad and angry. The negativity wears off on others around you. It is healthier to be happy and positive as oppossed to negative and unhappy! I am tired of wrinkled up faces and talking loud.

It is time for a change and the change starts now!
I choose happiness!

purplebutterfly

02-22-2006, 07:11 AM

I am happy to say that as an update to my words yesterday, my husband found a job. I had faith something would happen, it just amazes me how soon some prayers get answered.

billsmrs

02-22-2006, 09:54 AM

I am a happy person most of the time so I do choose happiness. However, just like everyone else I have my days that aren't so good.

Right now we are trying to get pre-approved for a loan to purchase the building we are in right now for our business. So far all the local banks have turned us down. Why? Various reasons from....we aren't asking for enough (yes we have really been told that!) to our business is still considered new and therefore they can't chance it even though they have our tax return in front of them and see that we are paying a much larger monthly rent payment than it would be to purchase the building and pay a mortgage.....almost $300 cheaper! Anyway, through this whole process I have had the blahs and just want to scream! :frazzled:

We also had an employee decide to quit....a very good employee and it is so hard to find a replacement. Many people want a paycheck but they don't want to work. :brickwall With each interview I have conducted I could just scream. I don't think we will ever find a replacement. I absolutely DREAD interviews anymore.

Anyway, getting off the subject......I choose happiness and I am telling myself everyday that we are very lucky that we have a business and that we are doing well. I tell myself that if the building is meant for us to buy then the right mortgage company will approve the loan and things will fall into place. Everything happens for a reason. I just need to learn patience.

I try to smile even when I don't feel like it and I always answer the phone with a cheery voice. I want to be happy and I want it to be contagious! :cheerlead

Schlunchlady

02-22-2006, 11:55 AM

The last eight years have been hard.
I had to deal with having a hysterectomy, hormone problems, followed by one family illness after another.
Lost both of my in-laws and then my mom. Had breast cancer followed by numerous blood clots. Problems with severe hot flashes and depression from no hormones.

But, I am going to be happy, even if it kills me!

purplebutterfly

02-22-2006, 12:12 PM

Hang in there. You sound like a twin to me. I had a hysterectomy, then lost my Dad. You are not alone, and this web-site will keep us all together. Hang in there because all of us care. We are all "sisters" in this together.

madbo

02-22-2006, 12:50 PM

I'm trying to teach my children (girl, 16 and boy, 11) not to "sweat the small stuff" and let it bring you down.

I must say "you can't change the past" on a daily basis to them. My motto is what's done is done and the only way to live is to move forward and be the best you can be each day. If you have a day where you fail or mess something up, learn from it but move forward. Letting the past (whether is a serious problem or a test that wasn't studied for) go and moving forward with a positive outlook.

Holding onto grudges and resentments or continual negative self-talk is just draining.

I just hope I can get my children to understand that being happy every day is a choice that they each have to make. :cheerlead

I'm also trying to show them that you can find happiness each day in many things... sitting in the sunshine... reading a book... listening to music... having a nice dinner with family... playing a boardgame... etc.

I should add that I didn't always think this way. I've suffered from depression (to the point of contemplating suicide) for most of my adult life, I've battled with health issues, a sense of low self worth, I've lost close friends and family members, I've had some serious financial diasasters and in 2002 lost my home, my pets and 95% of my belongings in a house fire, had a total hysterectomy in 2005 at the age of 36.

I think the fire was the turning point. I decided that I could feel sorry for myself, let depression take over, and take everyone in my family down with me or I could consciously decide to be happy. Sure I'm not happy 100% of the time (I'm not on meds hehehe and I'm no Stepford Wife) but when I catch myself being negative I do my best to turn it around. On those days that I just can't get myself out of a bad mood I announce to the household that Mom's having a bad day and I'll be better tomorrow and then I have a nice hot bath, read a book, head to bed early and do my level best not to get into an argument or spread my negativity to the kids or Hubby. I've noticed a marked change in the overall mood in my home since I started consciously working at it.

NeNe

02-22-2006, 08:32 PM

Today I got my badge for choosing happiness. Today I wasn't having a good day for a few minutes there. We had renters in a house and they moved out a few days ago and left the place a huge mess. I was getting down about it but remembered my challenge. So I turned on my favorite cd as loud as the law would allow, grabbed a broom and a mop and reminded myself that it could have been worse and I wasn't going to let this ruin my day. I chose happiness.

100792

02-22-2006, 11:55 PM

I just joined as G3 member and like the challenges.

I choose happiness is a great challenge for me, as I am a happy person.

I work for a manufacturing company as the receptionist and HR assistant. As my job requires me to answer the phone all day, I get to chat with our vendors and clients. A natural thing to ask people is "how are you today?" If I respond to them as Great, it makes their day a little better. Even if I am having a rough day I always answer the question in a positive manner, which makes my attitude change and I do become a happier person.

The other thing that I find is knowing all of our employees and trying to know their spouses and kids. My co-worker does not take the time to get to know the employees, so when they come in the office she always has to ask who they are. When I see them come in the office I always say "Hello ...(name)", this really makes them feel better, that hey someone in the office knows my name. I also try to get to know their spouses name, that way if they call with an insurance question or an emergency for the spouse, I can say (name) I can help you with that question, or let me see if (spouse) is available to take your call.

Happiness is really worth it. It is like if you smile to someone they will smile back, and everyone is happier.

I look forward to this challenge.

billsmrs

02-23-2006, 08:51 AM

Today was one of those days when you want to scream. I have had one sick child all week at home and the other wakes up sick today. :( My hubby was complaining with a sore throat and my shoulder and hip was bothering me so it started off with a big blah. Got to work this morning and got chewed out by a man standing in front of our business because he was smoking and I asked him to kindly move it away from the entrance of our door. He went on to tell me it was a free country, blah, blah, blah. Well that is fine but don't do it in front of my door. Then I answered the phone and it was someone upset that I wasn't taking winter items anymore. Got off the phone and turned on the radio to hear one of our friends who is a dj talking about how positive thinking will get you further than negativity so I called him. We chatted and I feel so much better. He told me to look in the mirror and say...this will be a good day and smile and think about all the positive things that have happened this week instead of the negative. Sounded corny but I did it and I already feel better. ;)

She_Ra

02-23-2006, 11:16 AM

Okay...so I consider myself pretty optimistic. At work I'm often asked what "drugs" I take that keep me in such a good mood all the time. I tell people I simply make a conscious choice to be happy, think positive, etc. My job is such that I have to be a positive, upbeat, motivated leader in order to keep things running smoothly.

That's all wonderful...EXCEPT...sometimes I put soooo much energy into being motivational and upbeat for others I have nothing left for myself. My goal with this program is to not just be percieved by others as "being happy" but to truly slow myself down enough to recognize things in my life that I should be happy about...not just because it's expected that I'm happy!

I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else...but at least by writing it down I'm furthering my committment to the challenge.

Thanks!

futurekidnurse

02-23-2006, 08:32 PM

I have spent a good portion of my life dealing with depression. I am just at the point right now where I have had enough and have just decided to approach life totally different. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for and those are the things I need to turn my focus to. The things that make me happy. Life is good and it will continue to get better and better because I choose happiness.

Tally

futurekidnurse

02-24-2006, 05:36 PM

Today was a good day. I think it is so important for me to be a good role model to the children in my class and being happy is certainly a very important thing.

Tally

violetrose

02-24-2006, 08:40 PM

It has been a tough week as I have been coming down sick all week and ended up with bronchitis. However, there is a bright side! This time last week DH was out of town and I would have been on my own to hold down the fort and manage the house and kids while being sick!
So, while some things are not the greatest, I've learned that if you look hard enough you can usually find a bright spot in there somewhere!
Meanwhile, it also gets me out of houseework! :p

friendly1

02-24-2006, 08:54 PM

I just saw these posts and it made me stop and think. You know, I have been blessed with many things (food, home, family, etc) that I need to take a step back sometime and enjoy the precious moments that I have instead of worrying about tomorrow. Thanks for inspiring me to "slow down"!

Autumn Moon

02-26-2006, 11:28 AM

The past 4 1/2 years have thrown challenge after challenge at me during a not quite so easy time in my life.

I chose to not to let it get me down, not to settle into a depression and to fight the negatives in life.

I don't fault or blame anyone else for the happenings of the past few years. I have tried to get the positive thoughts going in each situation.

I could have withdrawn into myself and just existed instead of LIVED.:bliss: I choose to be out and about with people who are as happy and outgoing as I am.

When people around me are being negative, I remind them of positive things.

triplej2676

02-27-2006, 09:17 PM

i choose happiness for many reasons. i agree with "if mommy ain't happy, then no one else is either." it is easier to be positive than it is to be negative. i find it takes less energy. it drives negative people nuts that i always see the glass as half full. i love to be silly and make other people laugh. they say i am nuts, but they laugh! and i like that...

Francesca

02-28-2006, 06:57 PM

I just joined and choosing happiness is my first challenge. The past year has been hard. I had to have surgery twice while going through a divorce. Then the week before Christmas I broke my elbow and shoulder. But then I decided to look at the positives in all of it. I learned that I had a lot more friends than I thought I had. I learned that I was a lot stronger than I thought I was. I learned that I can handle pretty much anything life throws at me (even without a man in my life!) I even learned that I really like my hair short (I had to get my hair cut when I only had one hand to style it with). I learned that I can choose to be happy even if life isn't going the way Ithought it should. So now I'm trying to live each day as if it were my last. Because I sure wouldn't want to spend my last day on Earth stressing about some silly thing at work, or worrying about money, or feeling sorry for myself. I want to go out smiling.

jules2707

03-01-2006, 08:01 AM

My challenge definitely relates to work. I feel great in the mornings when I wake, I then have a horrendous drive to work and get very stressed in the process. I then have to work with negative people most of the day. I have a boss that it difficult to get on with and is very different to all my previous employers.

I am very determined to look on the brighter side of life (oh that reminds me of a familiar song!!) and have qualified in a new therapy that I think will help me achieve my happiness challenge - I TAP!

Watch this space and I'll report back by Friday and let you all know how it's going and did I rise to the challenge.

Bug hugs to everyone
Jules

joyinaz

03-01-2006, 08:56 AM

I suffer from depression, but I look on the positive sides of things. Funny huh. I am always the person ppl come to when something happens, cause i can look at it and see the brighter side. I am not what you would call a happy person. I am just even keeled. I don't let my ups and downs affect my kids. I tell them I don't feel good and I am not sure why, but I still love them and things will be better. And they know they can have their down moments and then their up moments. We just don't focus on the negative. We look to the positives of it all. Even when my dad died, I knew he was better off in heaven than here with me. I still get sad and miss him but I would never want him back here to suffer any more. I look at life like that. I know I am going to be tested in my strength and beliefs, and I know I will have my down moments, but that is what they are....moments. Not days or weeks or years. I probably could choose more happiness. But I think i am ok with just being me...but who knows maybe the challenge would help me to wake up smiling more. I think for the most part my family is a "happy" ppl family.

beth_67

03-01-2006, 09:28 AM

I definitely agree Happiness is a choice we make. The people around us can often have an impact on what we choose. I have decided to do this for myself and my family. I grew up in a not so positive environment and I still here alot of negativity, but I want to be different! I want to be positive. I want to feel like I have made someone else feel good every day! I think that makes me happy too knowing I have made a difference in someone else's life! Even if it is just little things. I feel like we will be rewarded for that. If this does not make any sense, I understand...lol. I choose Happiness!

Red

03-01-2006, 11:08 AM

Happiness is definitely a choice. It's how we choose to view ourselves as we relate to others. What "makes" us happy are not things and a lot of people take a long time to find this out. Some people never do. I am taking this challenge because I know I have to choose to be happy and with this being the start of Lent (big deal for a Catholic like me!) I want this to be the thing I strive for. Not just for myself alone, but for my family and friends. I'm viewed as the fun loving person, but I don't feel it. I let the situations around me control how I feel. For this Lenten season I am choosing happiness and giving up being controlled by things I have no control over. I want to live the life God intended me to. I don't believe I will always be happy, but I can make a big difference in my life and other people's lives by how I am proactive instead of reactive. 'nuf said!
Laurie :bliss:

Beloved

03-02-2006, 03:08 AM

My life has not been easy.
I have survived childhood abuse. I've had a number of miscarriages and I've had marriage difficulties. Three of my four children have autistic disorders and heart disorders. Their difficult behaviour makes day to day life hard.
I've had two lots of major surgery in the last six months, the most recent only six weeks ago.
I had no choice over these things happening to me. I can however, choose how I respond.
Being miserable will not make these things go away.
Feeling sorry for myself will only make me feel worse.
I choose happiness because it is the only way I can move on.

Love, and God bless.
Annie
:queen:

anabelle

03-06-2006, 11:19 PM

I think I was raised to see unhappiness as a safe place - as in if you're too happy you're bound to get knocked down. Fortunately, I never quite fit in with my family. I feel sometimes that I don't fit in with my peer group though too as everyday I listen to friends fuss and complain about kids' sport teams and other really trivial stuff. I guess instead of waiting to find another "just happy" person, it's time for me to step up and be that happy person myself. I may still stick out, heck I probably will stick out, but I'll have a lot more fun doing it. So YES, I vow to be more happy for myself, my family, and the rest of y'all! **that little stick running smiley guy makes me laugh too, but I don't know how to get him** :)

Lavendergrey

03-07-2006, 07:11 AM

Annabell...you have made a great choice! Your post touched me probably because it is obvious that you are a happy person inside and it comes out even if you don't want it to! You have joy and are very blessed...and I agree that you should show it, regardless of what anyone else is carrying on about! As far as that little stick guy who runs around...look over to the left side of where you type your reply. You will see "Smilies" in a box and you can click on the word [more] at the bottom. That particular guy is one you would need to be a G3 Club member to be able to use. But there are others at the top you can use right now! Enjoy!

hypertyper

03-07-2006, 08:02 PM

I also work with some very negative people, and what a big difference it makes!!

It's wonderful to have this topic discussed here because we can all take a moment to think about the impact we have on the world around us, whether positive or negative.

I was raised in a depressed, critical, negative household that was very difficult. My self image was very poor, and I thought that it didn't matter what I was like, but I have come to realize that EVERYONE MATTERS!! So, if a person is negative, it matters and if a person is positive, it matters! It's the ripples in the water thing. Each one of touches the others in a very profound way. That's even more reason for us to show a positive attitude to all of the world around us.

hypertyper

03-08-2006, 08:50 PM

I think a happy attitude can be chosen in most circumstances. We all have our bad times where we need to mourn, cry, be angry, grieve, etc., and those are important to our emotional and mental health.

I think putting a positive light on the world around you is a healthy thing to do (although not easy sometimes). Looking at things through a positive light gives us the freedom to progress in our growth and make change in our world. If we let ourselves stay unhappy too long, that is stagnating and we can't grow or move on.

When you think about people you know who are happy, it seems like generally we are attracted to them - whether it be a smile or charisma or something. We are not so attracted to unhappy people.

There is a place and time for our sadness or unhappiness with life. These are necessary emotions and we must appreciate and value them. These 'bad' emotions usually cause growth in our spirits and characters, so we do want to have some of those in our lives.

We like being happy, too, because it just plain feels better. When we are happy, we feel stronger, freer and lighter. But I also think when we are happy, that is when we can make some strides in our lives, make the decisions we need to make, be the positive role models we need to be, etc.

I am taking the Happiness Challenge, and I will try my very best to keep this challenge in front of me and look forward to some positive changes in my life.

Lavendergrey

03-09-2006, 06:35 AM

Well said, hypertyper. I was just talking with a friend the other day about this very thing...she had said she doesn't want to experience bad feelings and wants to just "ignore" them and deal with problems as if nothing is wrong. I explained to her that we do need to experience the "bad" feelings...the hurts, the fears, whatever...in order to process what is happening to us and to grow from that. She didn't quite understand what I was trying to say...but I am hoping that as she has thought more about it, she will see that it really is the healthy way to go about living. At the same time, choosing joy and happiness throughout the struggles helps us to focus on the fact that although some things may happen that are not good, there are still many good things to rejoice in. My youngest son is going through a rough time right now and I'm finding it very hard to be joyful. :( Things are happening that are not good and I have no control over how they will turn out. However, I do know that I (and my son and my family) will come through it stronger in some ways, especially if I make sure I focus on the blessings in my life, and not live each day in the shadow of the things that are making me fearful.

YellowRoseTex

03-11-2006, 03:42 PM

Yes, I choose happiness! I do have times where I am down or depressed, but I try and not let others see it. I am one who tends to withdraw inward when I am down. When things are bad, I look around me and realize that I do have much to be happy about. I have a loving husband, a lovely home, 3 cats that love me, a job, some special friends who cheer me up when I'm feeling bad. I am me :D and I choose happiness. :D

LadyG

03-12-2006, 06:58 AM

I too choose HAPPINESS! I love my job but the people I work with are another story. They are so childish and negative. They aren't happy unless the whole shift is miserble. The joy I get from my job is quickly diminished after a few minutes with them. From today on I will be HAPPY at work! I'm going to be nice to them and smile, knowing that I have control over my happniess and not them!

LadyG

03-13-2006, 10:56 AM

I had a very good night! I ignored the negative! I actually enjoyed my job for a change.

LadyG

03-14-2006, 07:48 AM

Another smooth and happy ride last night!

pandaruys

03-14-2006, 07:59 AM

I choose Happiness. :yahooo: I also really find it hard to stay positive and happy. I have had a lot of negative in my life. But I have two wonderful boys, a loving husband, a job and a roof over my head and food to eat. Those are a lot of positives. I am really going to make an effort to think and feel more positively, and not focus so much on the negative. I need to set a good example for my children. If I am happy then others around me will be happy too.

Debra

toodles

03-14-2006, 06:48 PM

I took this challenge for more of a self-awareness to see if this was a problem for me because friends don't think I ever have a down day. Well it was a good few days to test this out as I had a few challenges and wasn't feeling the best, but I stayed true to myself! :banana: I'm very excited about this because I struggled so much as a child due to my circumstances. I definitely can choose happiness!

Mslmt

03-14-2006, 08:19 PM

My happiness challenge is related to my marriage and its a tough one! My daughter has accused her step father of lets just say not so nice things. The police are invloved and so is DCFS. He denies it of course but I am stuck in the middle with having to choose who I believe. You may think this is an easy decision but its not. In the mean time my challenge is to stay positive and happy for my kids. If I do not remain happy and strong how will that make my kids feel. Mom is suppose to be strong enough for everyone after all we are super moms right? I will take the challenge of waking every morning happy that I have my children for another day and in good health. :superman2

Mslmt

03-15-2006, 09:32 PM

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, opened the blinds and let the sun shine in :sunny: . I chose to be happy today because not only is it my birthday *party* but my children showered me with love. What else can put a smile on your face but the love from your kids!

Mslmt

03-18-2006, 07:48 PM

Even though my step uncle past away 2 days ago and Iam still finding out information about our current cituation, I chose to be happy. I stayed positive and focused about facts. I remembered only the good and happy moments about my uncle. I made sure to share these moments and received smiles and laughs. Also, by me staying positive, it has helped my daughter stay positive.

chiney

03-20-2006, 08:00 PM

I try to choose happiness every day - life's too short to dwell on "shoulda, coulda, woulda". Sometimes it's hard to put a smile on a "bad" situation but what is that situation in the big picture of life? Is it going to still be there in a week, a month, a year? Spring is here and it's the time of new beginnings, fresh starts.

Yes, happiness is the way to go! :sillycat:

La Paloma

03-27-2006, 11:34 AM

I used to be a very postive person. A lot of challenges have come way in last few years and it is getting harder and harder to stay that way... I have started to think of myself as realist rather than an optimist, but never a pessimist!
But, where is the line between realism and pessimism? ;)

I still see much good in things, it is just getting harder to sustain that view through long periods of adversity. Now, I am married to a very negative person and that makes it even harder! I will really have to apply myself.

I vow to keep trying, every single day, to try to refind that optismism that I once had because at the end of the day, it still, and has always been, my philosophy to CHOOSE happiness.

I have always said, if you cannot make always make yourself happy, for life will have tough times, you can choose not to be unhappy! Why add to a difficult situation by burdening yourself with more? :D

Now, if only hubby will get the message... :rolleyes:

SweeTie

03-29-2006, 08:23 AM

I choose happiness because life is too short to be negative. I try to wake up and first give honor to God and thank Him for another days journey. Then I try to be happy when I wake up my 2 gals. If I fuss at the oldest, I still let her know that I LOVE HER!!(Teenager-ugh!). I also try and spread happiness to my co-workers and let them know when we greet that "I am happy"! :p

butterflybaby

04-04-2006, 09:31 AM

I have more reason than most to be unhappy, in reality. I was laid off from a job I loved, nearly losing my house, found out my husband was cheating, and had a child hospitalized with scarring of the lung tissue and Level 5 asthma within three months. But, guess what? Time has marched on, I have a new job that I love, my baby girl's health, while still a struggle, continues to improve. And, well, the husband? We are truly happier than we have ever been. Sometimes the really lows help you find what's most important about the really highs, and not take a moment of your life for granted! Life isn't easy, and it's really unfair to the little guy. But, I also figured out that my unhappiness was just that..MY unhappiness! Now, I try to take each day with a roof over our heads and no serious problems as the blessings that they truly are!

lilwhiskeygirl

04-10-2006, 02:47 PM

Happiness is indeed a choice. I have been through some of the roughest times with my hunny and our little family. From being almost homeless, and having to choose between food and bills being paid, to the present day dealing with a life attached to the Army and everything that comes with that. Currently that means a 12 month deployment to Iraq, and recovering from a hysterectomy on my own.

There was a time, a couple years ago that I realized that my happiness was a choice. I was surrounded by negative women that hated where we live, and refused to see any good in their lives based on that. I started letting myself get sucked into their black hole. Then I woke up. I looked around and searched for good things...and found them. I chose to find happiness and not wallow in the negative. I can be counted on to be that annoying person that points out the good things. Sure my husband is thousands of miles away, but we get to talk frequently. Sure I just had surgery, but this pain is nothing compared to before. Sure it's freezing in Alaska in January at 50 below zero but how cool I get to experience it. Yeah it's very dark in the winter, but I got to experience it. Yeah it's hard to be so far from family, but I have my hubby, and my kids. They're all I need.

Every day I wake up, and choose to be happy. Because it's ALL in the attitude :)

So yes I will choose happiness. Why? Because when Mama's happy...everyone's happy. When I'm happy, I feel alive, I feel motivated, and inspired. Because to choose to be unhappy, is detrimental to me, and my family, and my friends, and who wants that? :eek:

lilwhiskeygirl

04-11-2006, 01:28 PM

I'm going to be happy today...because the sun is shining, it's quiet in my house, and spring is on it's way. :)

anngellica

04-23-2006, 12:49 PM

Cool beans!

Ranjani47

05-01-2006, 04:45 PM

I have choosen to forgive many who have inflicted hurt on my soul and psyche. Lately, I have come to the realization that I now must forgive myself because so much of what happened to me I let it happen. I truly believe the adage "you teach people how to treat you". The ill treatment I received from lovers, friends and employers occurred due to not standing up for myself, not knowing that I deserved better and allowing myself to be mistreated. SO I gave myself permission to forgive myself and I try everyday to treat myself well. Blessed BE.

ScrapbookingZebra

07-07-2006, 11:32 AM

I started to tell this on the hubby has no clue thread....
I will choose happiness for me, with doing Joyce Meyer, working out at Curves, and choosing to be happy! It has to start with me anyway, right?

seasong

09-30-2006, 01:45 PM

:) Happiness challenge.
My challenge will be to stay positive no matter what...
Maria :banana:

mezmerized

10-03-2006, 09:36 PM

There are so many reasons why I choose happiness. I ama mother of 3 and the way you look at life is the way you protray it to your kids and yes everyone around you. If you have health issues like i do which there is no cure it gets to be a very big downer. I have learned with all the support I get on here and other forums which shows you need to have a high sense of high self esteem and pride in yourself to get through it . So I choose happiness as that is the best medicine anyone can have. I love you all thanks for all your support Everyone is in my prayers

miamcm

10-17-2006, 05:56 AM

I NEED this challenge....I am such a negative person. I sit next to a person that seems super positive but when you really listen to her, deep down inside she is not and it brings me down alot! She is on vacation this week and I saw a difference in me yesterday....I am using this time to work on ME without her there making me :mad: I can do this and be a better person, I know it!
My DH is the other one that makes me change from :queen: to :mad: !!! He has been working 7 days/week now for about 1 month and it is draining him....I need to be more positive so he can too!
I CAN do this! I CHOOSE to be happy!

CeCeGirl611

11-05-2006, 05:08 PM

I also need this challenge. I do tend to focus on all the things that are wrong. It's ironic that I think that way because one of my personal favorite quotes is "It is your choice." I think I have to remember to step back and choose how I respond to a situation.

I have spent a lot of the past ten years fighting depression. I have fought a hard battle and have finally found the right medication for me. I think without that I would not even be able to see the option of choosing happiness.

I will take my own advice and choose happiness.

MommyLady

11-10-2006, 06:48 AM

I do choose happiness. It's a choice that must be made over and over. It's a daily choice.... sometimes hourly. :lol

mama2ak

01-11-2007, 12:53 AM

I try really hard to stay happy and positive and really want to devote more time to learning how to make happiness fill my home. I have two little girls who need to know happiness. Unfortunately, they've seen mom pretty depressed their whole lives. :(

JuneBug

01-13-2007, 12:08 AM

I love this challenge! I do choose happiness! I've learned by going through many ongoing trials that happiness is more a choice than a feeling! I choose to act in a way that is consistent with happiness, and the feeling follows along! I'm getting better and better at playing Pollyanna's glad game!

JuneBug

01-14-2007, 10:35 PM

Just wanted to add a bit more here since I've officially acctepted this challenge! Being new here, I didn't get it at first! :o

I have good reasons to be unhappy...a very difficult financial situation and chronic illness that keeps me in constant and severe pain, and little sleep to name a few....but I still choose happiness...Like I said above, it's really a choice not a feeling...

I think for me, the key lies in an old hymn that we used to sing in church..."Count Your Blessings". One line says "count your many blessings see what God has done"...I know when I do that...when I recount all the ways God has blessed me, and all the things He has done for me, the choice is easy....When I get my focus off of how big the mountain I need moved is, and onto how big the Mountain Mover (God :) )is, Joy and happiness are the only choice!!!

I appreciate this challenge because it's a good wake up...a kick in the pants..."no more wallowing Janice...time to make a choice to be happy" So I'm done wallowing....I'm making the choice....

I'm looking forward to the days being lighter, and my heart feeling brighter....and the best part.....Happiness is contagious! Can't wait to infect a few people! Yay!!!!! :bliss:

Sunny

01-22-2007, 07:05 AM

My parents were both the epitome of "UNHAPPINESS". My father was very negative & my mother was a guilt-tripper! It took about 26 years to recognize what an impact this left on me...and I'm still striving to turn that around!

So, I can 100% say that I choose Happiness!

"Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed."
--Anonymous

aesjls

01-23-2007, 07:33 AM

I choose happiness too! Anything else it just too time consuming. Now not every minute of my day/week/life is filled with joy - but keeping a postive attitude about what comes my way helps in my journey!

Sunny

01-24-2007, 06:28 AM

Sometimes it really helps to "see" them in black & white, huh? A journal or checklist is a great idea!

:thankyou:

lighthouse112

02-16-2007, 11:57 AM

I try to be happy all the time. I am a returning adult to collage. It has been hard to be happy there but I am trying really hard.
This is my 3 semister and my family says I'm douing better now. I put on a positive attitude now and choose to be happy and I am doing it!!!

kimijean

03-14-2007, 02:59 PM

No one can be happy all the time, but when you choose to count your blessings, you will be a happier person. I choose to be happy because it makes me feel better and it affects those around me for the better. If I have a happy attitude, my life just works better.

Psalms

04-15-2007, 09:29 AM

Thanks Kathy. I choose to be happy. I was dealing with someone this week and I realized she is not a happy person although she tries to pretend she is and I notice her getting on my "nerves" so bad that I was acting unhappy. Wow...that can't be. I am always outgoing and friendly. I can't let this person make me someone I am not.
So I choose to be happy!!

Candylee

04-19-2007, 11:11 AM

I choose happiness. Life has thrown me quite a few lemons. I choose to see the best in every situation even if that means waiting patiently for it to present itself. I believe in the serenity prayer and it gives me peace.

Meli-V

10-01-2007, 08:06 PM

My dad has always been into positive thinking and that is something when we were growing up we thought "whatever". But I have definately learned that if I think positive, I feel positive. There is a lot of negative energy at work and sometime sit is really hard but I keep telling myself, " Think positive, feel positive" I definatelty notic ethat others will catch on. It feels good to be in a good mood!!!!!!!!!! Life is as good as you make it! :)

Deewv3

10-08-2007, 09:02 AM

It's hard to stay positive with negative people at work. I'm sure others see you as being positive and that is making an impact. That's great!
I am a social worker and I work with families in crisis and kids in need everyday. It is hard to define happiness in life when you are confronted day in and day out with such sadness in life. But I find my happiness when I return to my home and I see all that I have and the love that has surrounded me through my family and as far as negative people or circumstances at work, just look for peace within yourself. Do your job and be thankful for having that. Life could change for anyone of us at anytime. And each of us has the power to make another person happy. Somedays, just a compliment to another person or a smile and a hello can brighten somebodies day.

iteachum

10-09-2007, 08:48 AM

I believe Happiness IS a choice! I teach children in socially-economically deprived situations (and I grew up in the same environment)and do believe that happiness is learned and needed if you are to succeed in life.
Every day we are asked to make choices that affect our lives, our families, our health and our well-being. Happiness is NO different. We can choose to be "up" or "down" each day. Consequences and situations sometimes drive our inner decisions, but in the end, it is up to you to bring yourself to the point of deciding how you want to spend your time here on Earth....Happy or Unhappy.
I choose to make my stay here happy and inviting for all those around me....especially the children! They are my inspiration, my future, my love and my passion! If I choose to be unhappy, what imagine do I project to the children that look up to me? I have to show them that there is something in life that they can enjoy and that makes them feel good about themselves. I had caring, 'happy" teachers in my life that inspired me to be the person that I am today.
Choose happiness and a positive attitude and life is much easier to take!!

uLearnAsUgo

10-11-2007, 03:39 AM

I too believe that happiness is a choice. It's a choice that everyone can make for themselves. I do not think that someone else can make you a happy person or that you can make anyone else become a happy person.

This isn't to say that you can't make someone happy momentarily. But the choice to live as a happy person has to come from within.

My mother is not a happy person and it has made my life difficult. Difficult because I thought it was my job to make her happy. She is my mother, I love her. I want to make her happy.

My mother grew up as a foster child. She speaks well of the women who raised her, who she considers to be her mother. Her mother (who raised her) had another daughter who was about 10 years older than my mother was but they considered themselves to be sisters and had a good relationship. I mention these things to clarify that my mother wasn't a foster child who was constantly moved from one home to another. From everything I know, she had a better life than she would have had her biological mother raised her. Yet, even as a child, I felt badly for her and have wanted to make her happy. Even though we did fun things when I was young, I could sense an unhappiness in my mother.

My father left us when I was 4 years old so things weren't always easy. But I've always known that there were other people who were worse off than we were.

My mother has chosen negativity over happiness. At 49 years old, I am just now realizing that I can't make her become a happy person. My siblings don't bother with her much which has made me try to pick up the slack. I try to include them in her birthday celebrations. They aren't very interested.

For her birthdays, I've always made it a special day or a special weekend. We usually go away, somewhere in the mountains where the leaves are changing. I always try to find the perfect gifts, something she will cherish. Always trying to make it special. Always trying to make her happy.

This year I'm worn out. I've figured out that there is nothing I can do to make this women happy. She has appreciated the trips and gifts. But it doesn't last. It's only for the moment that she can smile. It isn't in her soul.

This year it's a gift certificate and dinner at home. I'll make a cake. I'll invite no siblings. There will be no thoughtful present.I am tired of trying. I know now that it's a personal choice. She has made her choice. She will not be a happy person.

I have made my choice. I will be happy in spite of her.
I am sad at this moment. I still feel that I have failed. It is a hard lesson. It's hard to accept that I couldn't make her happy.

I have to remind myself always, it's a personal choice.

Choose happiness.

Deewv3

10-11-2007, 08:23 AM

You can't make your mother happy, you can only make yourself happy. I have no idea what the circumstances were that led your mom to foster care but you did say her life was probably much better with her foster family then her biological family. Has your mother ever been in therapy to deal with the loss she had to have felt? She probably has great pain lying a few layers down that will never fully go away. She may blame herself for not being with biological parents. Abused kids have a hard time understanding that their lives should be better then the abused lives they are living with. NO matter what they have endured, it is still mom and dad that they are missing. The greatest gift you can give your mom is to give her the peace of mind that you are happy and she has done well for you.

uLearnAsUgo

10-13-2007, 06:49 AM

My mother wasn't abused. She was raised by the same family from the time she was an infant. She thought that she was adopted. It wasn't until she went for her marriage license that she found out she wasn't actually adopted. She didn't miss her parents because she didn't meet them until she was an adult. After meeting them, she was even more grateful that they didn't raise her! The only thing she missed out on was that she wasn't raised with her biological sister and brother. But, again, she didn't know about them until she was an adult. I don't even know why I included that information about her being a foster child. I think that I always felt bad for her even though her childhood seemed happy.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I have finally realized that happiness comes from within and is a choice that everyone has to make for themselves.

I don't always express myself well. However, rambling at 3am comes easily,lol.

uLearnAsUgo

10-15-2007, 09:20 AM

HA! I don't know if she appreciated it or hated it but I bought a smiley face button for my mother today. She asked what it was for. I just said it's because you smiled today.

newscat

10-20-2007, 06:02 PM

Your story about your mother is making me think. My mother's attitude and life is similar. I tend to be unhappy, too. But I also realize that I'm often looking to please mom, because she's nearing the end of her life but now I wonder if it's also because of wanting her to be happy?
Something to think about.

murphmuffin

10-24-2007, 06:42 AM

This moment of reflexion made me realize I choose hapiness, even without thinking about it, it just happens...I had (in hindsight) a less then enviable childhood/teenhood, but i don't dwell on the past. I have a happy husband and even a happy smiling dog. I find wonder in small things and so do the people closest to me. I can relate to those who wrote about poisoned environments in the workplace - that is also my case. I find I can "tune out" by diving into the most complexe tasks to be done. A busy mind is a happy mind. Make's you look a bit "weirdo", but that's fine by me.
I feel fortunate that hapiness choose me!

teese67

10-27-2007, 07:01 PM

I've always been an optimist. My mom, despite her health problems before her Alzheimer's, was always in such a happy mood and had such a sweet spirit about her. My family has always been a bunch of cut-ups who love to laugh and have a good time. I'm so thankful my kids have the same attitude and it's rubbed off on my DH as well! :D

BVPOK

10-30-2007, 05:13 AM

It's wonderful that you can have such a positive attitude arround such negative aura. Ever thought of finding a new job?? I have to be around happy people b/c un happy people just bring me down.
Good Luck! Stay Strong and Happy

DG1104

12-03-2007, 09:01 AM

This morning I got up and was determined to have a good day. This past Friday my Living Room window was fixed (it has been leaking for over 3 months) and I felt all was right with the world.
Well, last night it rained :rain: and guess what .... water was coming in at the window again. I moved the sofa that was in front of the window :scaredcou and I immediately got depressed ....but quickly thought about the fact that I am alive and able to go to work this morning. :sunny: I should consider that the best blessing ever and thank God for it and choose to be happy.

I am happy this morning even though circumstances warranted otherwise.

When bad things happen just view them as a means to make us appreciate all the wonderful little things that we have to be greatful for !!!
:angel3:

samila

12-04-2007, 06:39 PM

This is a great post Kathy. I choose happiness.

samila

12-11-2007, 04:46 PM

Inspite of being in chronic, continuous back pain and leg pain for the past 25 years, I choose to be happy. The medical condition does not affect my psychie. I love life and choose happiness inspite of being in pain.

Chant1979

12-28-2007, 11:45 PM

I choose to be happy. Yes we all go through bad things in our life. We see things that are unpleasent. But for my children I choose to be happy. I have to show them that We can overcome anything. Just like the song...
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Daisy Girl

12-31-2007, 12:09 AM

I not only choose happiness...I choose joy. My faith brings me joy despite the circumstances of life. I can look at the bigger picture and see that being late or having to wait in line or having a cold is not really a problem in greater scheme of things.

Daisy Girl

12-31-2007, 04:27 PM

I had a situation come up today in which I could have become upset, angry or frustrated. I locked my keys in the car at the gas station. That doesn't sound like a big deal - and it isn't. But I grew up in a family where EVERYTHING was a hassle, problem or a big deal.

I went inside the gas station and called the police who came and unlocked my door. The clerks were helpful and I told them it was no big deal. I was safe and warm and wasn't late for court or anything....We had a good conversation while I waited for the police.

When the policeman arrived I told him I hoped this was the last stupid thing I'd do this year. He asked if I intended to do many stupid things in 2008. I said I never plan to do stupid things - I just come by it naturally! :o

All in all it was a half hour delay in a day of doing errands. No big deal. But I've come a long way. I choose happiness. I wish the rest of my birth family could realize how easy it is to relieve stress and frustration simply by looking at things differently and choosing happiness.

pretty_tatts69

01-03-2008, 07:14 AM

I chose to be happy. I have been through a rough time an all I was was grouchy all the time. And when I am that way it rubs off on my husband and then rubs off on the kids and then everyone in the house is unhappy. So I chose to be happy. And I want the rest of my family to be happy too

dawniebeth

01-12-2008, 04:53 PM

Your posting made me think and inspired me to try your way!
Thanks

pretty_tatts69

01-13-2008, 01:59 PM

Your posting made me think and inspired me to try your way!
Thanks
I hope it all works for you :)

nenna2000

01-16-2008, 03:09 PM

I also choose happiness! In the past year I have had health issues that I decided to address and did address! The issues made me tired and sometimes grouchy. I had major surgery to "fix" the problem and so far I feel much better, and am determined to stay that way. When we wake up every morning we can make a choice, take everything in stride and depend on God for strength, or we can make the choice to let life jerk us around.

shazza

02-01-2008, 10:59 PM

"In a happy state you can deal with any problem because you can see with clarity what choices you have".

Every time I complain or am unhappy, I remind myself how lucky I am to be well enough to even complain. My kids may annoy me sometimes but the good times far out weigh the times they make me unhappy :)

newscat

02-02-2008, 07:30 AM

For those of us who are internally depressed many times, although you'd never guess it on the outside -- any pointers are welcome. Also please don't think that for some of us it's as easy as turning it on or off.

KHltd

02-02-2008, 10:11 AM

I agree it's not as easy as turning it on or off. But we do have some say in how we feel. I read a book years ago that said, we can't control what happens to us each day, but we can control how we respond. In controling our response, we can choose to have a good day. For me, the way I respond will effect how I feel for hours maybe even days. It takes GREAT effort sometimes to relax, breath and move on with a change in perpective and attitude. I have found, for me, the way I measure a situation and my response, is by asking myself, "Will it matter in 5 years, 1 year, 1 week, even tomorrow?" Most of the curves life sends me, really will not matter much in the big picture. So I really don't have to waste my precious energy there, I just try to deal and move on, and try to find something amusing or positive to focus on.

So for all it's worth, as often as I can, I choose happiness and peace!

lilorphann

02-03-2008, 03:50 PM

I am taking the Choose Happiness Challenge; yay me! In a world that has so much sadness and unhappiness in it lately, where people are killing their babies, each other, themselves we should remember that everyday should be lived as if it is your last and why live those days filled with anger and bitterness. Be happy that God has chosen to give you another day on this Earth and be thankful for the blessings in life.

Personally I have many blessings in life and lately had lost sight of that, but now I am back where I need to be and know that I should be happy for all that I have and for each day I am here...so I am choosing to be a happier person this year!

Dianezz

02-20-2008, 02:38 PM

For me choosing happiness has its struggles. I do choose happines and I do choose life. Sometimes I do so on as little as five minutes or less at a time. O n good days I can go a couple hours up to one half a day at a time. Ihave several medical issues todeal with and I can do so. However, My Mental health is where the larger struggle comes into p[lay. I dont really "feel"
although I do have feelings. Joy isnt really something I can feel anymore. What I have done is Lower my expectations of what joy means and appreciate them. Even bad days( the kind where everythig seems to go wrong...we all have them) I appreciate them and savor the fact that I can functionthat day and feel adn experience what is going on....I am a part of life.
I choose to appreciate and find the positive in everything when I am able. My Motto is that" I am struggling well". I am sufferring in the best most positive way i can .I try my best not to let relapses play a guilt trip. I try to accept my illness and that I do not choose to ahve a relapse and I fight to get well.Everyday OF my life i s a lot of work and IT would be easier to give up as I have peacefully tried. IT has been many many years now and I am grateful I have come this far to find my happiness.I wish You all you growth and happiness

newscat

02-21-2008, 06:11 AM

I recommend going to the Newsweek site and reading the story "Happiness: Enough Already". I would have included the link but I can't seem to get an exact URL for it. I read this in the doctor's office yesterday.

Dianezz

02-21-2008, 07:09 AM

thank you newscat. The artical touched issues I am very familiar with and it brought back many reflections. Very good article. Many thoughts came to mind that I have grown from over the years....YEt until I was able to get out from under toxic relationships it was indeed a pressure. My Mother expected us to smile and to show a happy family our entire life enven into hood. We were wellknown in town. She had been in denial about my illness and abuses for a long time and her advice was to"keep my chin up"
She had excuses for why I was not allowed to grieve over the death of my three closest freinds..each death at differrent times. She and mY father did not beleive how sick my son was...he still is at age 18 and has not been able to live wit us since age 12. They felt it was in our heads . My Father did not know the whole of my childhood abuses, but said to drop it and go on.
I was abused as an adult and forced to smile and play happy .
I was forced becaue since i was a child I did not know any different and fear of not doing so would cause "true"unhappiness. Once i had a very large breakdown and got help...I learned to grieve.I actualy felt joy for the first time, but for some reason it left...bu ti remember it.So even thoough I chose happiness all those years, saddness and anger were stuffed deep inside and so was passion and new ideas I wanted to pursue. Stuffed so far I did not even know. I was blessed in that my parents finally sought help tolearn about my and my sons illnesses. They were very accepting and educated and open and loving . they were in thier 70's by then. We m oved back to live near them. I became close friends with my mom. it was only a year later and she became ill. She then has since had a exxtremely fast /rare form of decline ( dementia) and I have lost a wonderful friend...and yes i am grievin g inthat department once again as she loses another aspect each day.
The good from m y life is that as I wrote in teh post above, that i was gifted to learn about myself a nd how to appreciate "my type of happiness" tha t is healthy for me.

curleyreddsmom

02-24-2008, 06:57 PM

My first challenge will be to stay positive in my job. Being in the mortgage business these days is really tough with so many people losing their jobs. I work for a small private company and we have just had to close down one of our offices but I am trying to encourage those moving to our office tomorrow that it is a good move.

:queen: Elizabeth

brboatwright

03-01-2008, 09:42 AM

I used to be a completely happy person all of the time...how do I get that back after suffering for more that 6 months in physical pain. The physical pain is gone but for some reason my brain can not let go of the sadness. I want so badly to feel like my old self. Has anyone else went through anything like this?

curleyreddsmom

03-01-2008, 01:07 PM

When I first chose this challenge I thought work was a good start and things have been very positive and it might be rubbing off on some of the people who were kind of forced in to our office by the branch closing but it has been good. However after reading a lot of the replies I realize how many of us have/are experiencing family issues that are the same or physical pain that takes everything out of you. I keep having internal blood loss and they can't find the problem so my iron goes up and I feel good and then it starts depleting and I start dragging and am so tired I can hardly make it thru the work day. Not a good sign to nod off at your computer ;-) So I've decided to join 24 hour fitness and take it a day at a time. :queen:

Dianezz

03-01-2008, 03:46 PM

To BRB
Having a big change in your life can bring an unbalance to the way the brain is functioning. You may have found a way to cope and get through your difficult time, but now you are realizing the toll it had on your everyday mental health. I would suggest seeing your physician or a Mental Health clinician. Explain what you said here and they will ask some questions . At some point they may suggest counseling,and/ or they may suggest a trial of antidepressants to get you back on track. They may find another underlying cause such as hypothyroid which can come on after a sever m edical impact to the body....this happened to me. IT causes fatigue and depression . I have also had anemia Due to my von Willebrands disease. BUt i do suffer regualrly from depression and I hope that what ever is causing you to be down , that this may help.

Tkdista

03-24-2008, 03:23 PM

I speak publicly on behalf of the American Cancer Society.

I have a favorite little speach that I give regarding cancer. It usually goes something like this:

"How many of you have been fortunate enough to have been affected by cancer?

(At this point, you see some hands and many confused faces...)

I have been quite fortunate. Cancer killed my sister, sure. But cancer taught me, my family, and my friends so much!

Cancer told us approximately when my sister and my dad would die. I could walk right out of this seminar and be hit by a bus. Iwould not have had the time to say goodbye to friends and family and they would not have had that opportunity, either. Because of cancer, my sister and I had many conversations where we were able to reminisce and laugh and cry - and say goodbye. Every time we saw each other, we hugged and kissed and said goodbye because each time might have been the last.

Cancer taught me how to communicate effectively and honestly with others. Many people think it appropriate to ask questions and give advice about what a loved one should, could or would be doing regarding a health concern. I learned to politely say that we are doing everything possible and if it is that important to them, could they please put it into an email and send it to me? I learned to say that I was having a particularly good day and was choosing to not discuss those matters. I learned to state that I was having a cruddy day and that I needed some quiet time. I learned when to say yes and when to say no.

I also learned, alongside my family, how to come together to discuss cancer honestly and openly. On the day of my sister's official stage 4 diagnosis, the conference room was packed with our family members. We were there to look at the dta and ask questions in the event that my sister and her husband got stuck on the word "terminal." We learned honest and open communication and have been working with that for the last 4 years!

Cancer taught me when it was mandatory that my siblings and I gather to go say goodbye to my father. His wish was for us togo and saygoodbye rather than for us to go to pay our last respects. He wanted to hug us and say goodbye. He died about 3 weeks after our visit.

Why am I happy that my sister had cancer and ultimately died from it? Because she taught us SO MUCH about LIVING by her death. Because she remains a beautiful, wonderful person due to the lives she touched with her hope.

I amnot happy that my sister is dead. Im iss her very much. But her death taught me how to LIVE."

Happiness is a CHOICE. Mysister chose happiness and she taught to every life she touched until the day she died. I would like to teach others as much as I can about that choice.

Dianezz

03-26-2008, 01:09 PM

Tkdista, that was very merciful, the gift your sister gave you, and you accepted it very graciously. I too have felt that i , although I suffer daily, have been given a gift. without the many hurdles I face and the loving /caring individuals along my path as I have grown, I do not feel I would appreciate each moment as I do. I am not always happy despite my choice of happiness, but i appreciate that i have life . withthat life I also embrace different moods in my mental illnes and wiht the gifts (of human tears sometime) I gladly hold a platter full with ilness in my family that i help care for.
IT is kindess and patience as well that comes from those like you and many others here, A gift that gets passed around and makes life happy for others& then they might turn around and do the same. I am sure you have made many people smile and made thier day very extra nice. All of the ladies here have thier own form of struggles and I wish all of you peace and grace and mercy.

bonnieclaire

03-27-2008, 07:11 AM

Lately, there has been a lot going on since my Dad's stroke last December. I am trying to put on a happy face for my family, but it isn't easy at times.

When I see my Dad, I put a smile on my face so he doesn't know how worried I am. I am grateful for all the good years that he has had...he is 86 now. I am very lucky to have had him so healthy for so long. I am happy that, although his stroke was acute, that he is still with us. I am happy that he is in an excellent sub-acute center that is trying their best to help him achieve his goals of walking and talking once again.

This has been a test for all of my family, but because we are so close, we have all been doing our share. I am happy to have been born in such a wonderful, caring family.

So even at times of sadness, there are many things to be happy about...many things to be thankful for.

Have a "Happy" day! :sunny:

newscat

03-27-2008, 09:04 AM

I belong to an online caregivers' group if you're interested. We share and support one another. It's another way to "choose happiness" even though the posts may seem sad, strange or whatever negative at times. It helps to relate. Let me know if you -- or anybody else who sees this -- would like to join.

bonnieclaire

03-27-2008, 09:17 AM

Thank you Newscat...that is very nice of you.

I would like the website.

newscat

03-27-2008, 10:02 AM

Try sending a message to the following e-mail address with the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject line.

caregiving_support-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

If that doesn't work go to the following URL:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/caregiving_support/

If that doesn't work just let me know and I'll have the moderator contact you with instructions.

bonnieclaire

03-27-2008, 10:23 AM

I have already signed up and am reading the posts. I had no problem. :)

Thank you very much for the info.

Tkdista

03-28-2008, 10:01 AM

Dianezz,

Thank you for your kind words.

What I find sad is that my mom seems tonow refuse to celebrate Easter because my sister died. The boys and I had a good day together, watching movies because I am still recovering.

When I see someone not choosing happiness like that, I just don't know what to do! Who am I to try to tell my mom that she still has 2 grandkids here?

At some point, maybe I will invite them to a big Easter celebration and try tohelp her celebrate my sister's life, instead of holing up and ruminating on her death.

Who am I to talk? I have my bad days with it still... But I still think happiness works much better.

Your words are so touching. Thank you for reading my post and responding. I cried while writing about her - I always do. I remember so many great things when I do and I get to smile all over again. I know that's a selfish act, but death seems to make people selfish - I don't think I cry because she's dead, but because I will feel the void while I miss her.

Good luck to you in your journey, Dianezz. I wish you love and happiness.

Dianezz

03-28-2008, 10:14 PM

TKDISTA,
I understand the struggle you speak of wherein your mother is not to the point in her grieving to be able to let in joy with out the losses of her loved ones holding her back.

You almsot seemed to anser your own question of what to do in your first post about Other people having input aboutwhat to do or how to feel, but ultimatley it is where one is in their recovery and often that is based on their past( how they were raised) and thier age( how set they are...how more anxious they are to change). Counseling from Hospice or a social service or possible anti depressants can somtimes be beneficial to boost. Support groups as well. I am probably speaking to the choir.

My MIl died suddenly and we did not get a chance to say good by ...this is the one year anniversary. But we do keep her in our regular conversatoins and happy memories.

My MOther who went from well to very rapid decline of alzhiemers practically dissapeared in a matter of three months. withthe nature of the disease, you cannot say goodbye. Although I feel cheated. I do feel GOd has his plans and i choose to follow his guidance as best I can
and hopefully with is grace. Mom is often at peace, a blessing.

Myoldest son did not wan to celebrate his Birthday in FEb due to the "loss' of my MOther. But he is now appreciating the time we have with this special lady that our mother is locked deep inside and will be ther e until it is time to move on.

We are devestated and it is alot of work to care for her,
but each day is anotherr day we are given to appreciate adn celebrate.We now have hired help as I am ill as well and
it got to be too much for me to do so much of the care giving.

I think your modeling that you have moved on to enjoy life and appreciate it is not gone unseen by your Mother. Although you can not ever replace the loss of a loved one, that person did indeed fill roles on ones life. Possible you can find a way to see that those needs once filled by sister/father are filled whever it be caregiver or freind or engaging in projects etc...

IT sounds like you really had to be strong over easter ((hugs))). YOu have grown a lot....a lot of muscles!!!

purplefeathermoon

05-15-2008, 07:47 PM

My happiness challenge is an everyday effort. Recently we were evicted from our mobile lot, along with the rest of the lot. Our landlord decided he wanted to sell the property and wanted all of our trailers off by June 30th. We were informed of this in February. We found a 2 bedroom apartment not far from where we lived and were moved out by April 1st. In that time I realized we had lost our home, our rent more than doubled and shortly after I contracted bronchial pneumonia.
At Christmas time I feel and injured my knee, aggravating an already existing injury. So each day I feel pain and struggle to walk.
One thing that I have come to realize from all of this is that I have a large network of family and friends that will be there for me in time of need and that We are blessed no matter what. Our quality of living has improved so much and now that I am feeling better from the pneumonia, the future looks so much better and our new home is nicer than our mobile home, we have our pets and we both have jobs and life could not be better . My depression has lifted and I feel like we are just starting over. Everything is new again. The best part is that I can cry at a happy movie and feel alive again.

I live each day to the fullest and sleep peacefully at night. I do not let the knee pain get me down, there is so much to be thankful for. So, everyday I make a conscious effort to smile and be happy.

samila

05-15-2008, 08:27 PM

Tkdista. Thank you so much for your post. I lost my sister in April 2004 of a massive heart attack. I did not have the opportunity to say goodbye. I got a phone call, one day, out of the blue that she was gone. I haven't chosen happiness yet but I'm trying.

newscat

05-18-2008, 05:39 AM

God bless you!!!!!!!!!

m_stasse

05-18-2008, 06:41 PM

I definitely choose happiness! A simple smile attracts a new friend, an new opportunity, a new love!

Happiness is not always easy especially when surrounded by negative people, but I follow my Mom's rule..kill them with kindness...lol

My children have grown up in a happy home and as young adults in their own relationships and out in the world I see the benefits it has given them, they are all positive out-going people who attract fun, friendly people to them like moths to a light. It's an amazing gift that costs you nothing but will continue on for forever!

Shelley

Dianezz

05-22-2008, 05:19 PM

Niether myself nor my children grew up in a happy home. My Parents did the best they knew and loved us very much. They gave the shirt off thier backs or anything else asking nothing in return. However we were not "healthy"
Neither was the family I was raising with my husband. He came from an unhealhty childhood. We have been through hard ship after hardship and it is easier to get help and reach out now adays. We have gotten help all along . All of us. We have only grown stronger.It has been determination and hard work all these years. I am hoping the next generation can move yet another step forward, like I am sure my parents did from what kind of family life they had. We all wanted happiness, We are all devoted to one another and have worked very hard. I am all for Healthy families . I also feel blesseed at what the growth of having to work at it has done for us. My children are extremely tolerant, patient,sensetive, thoughtful, hard workers , kind, generous,understanding and willing to jump in and help out . They have pride in the happiness that they( we) have worked for and they know how delicate it is. We still struggle everyday....there are many many medical issues that we deal with andit is a challenge balancing all the things we want to to do for and with our teens,,,the same as when they were little.But happinness of having life and being together to enjoy the simplest of things is amazing. It can be done ...day by day...sometimes just the simple gifts of life are the most pleasureable. And like Shelley said above, It does attract friendliness too!

curleyreddsmom

05-26-2008, 06:11 PM

We live in such an upside down world these days how can you stay happy all the time. We live in a world of daily challenges. I feel so rotten because I finally just sent my boyfriend home. I am trying to pack and move form WA to Idaho and he just doesn't know how to help and when to back off and just let me do my thing, be cranky and then get over with it. He always wants to fix me and I don't need fixing. He doesn't want me to move and I understand that but I also have to do what is best for me and my family and he isn't family - yet. I just don't want to push him away but I want him to understand my craziness of packing, etc and that I just need to get thru it. And on top of all that I have company coming for a week---- i'll have totally lost my mind by the end of all this I think but hopefully I will be laughing.

cdimples2

06-04-2008, 09:51 AM

I always try to remind myself that I can choose to be happy and not a victim. :cool:

Poohtie

06-06-2008, 05:56 PM

I choose to be happy. I try to be in the moment, accept my past as my past and create a new beginning for myself each day. If I am living in the past I am the past. I want to live each day as if it is a new journey.

newscat

06-06-2008, 07:33 PM

So how does everyone get past the anxieties, the fears, the negative stuff?

Dianezz

06-06-2008, 08:24 PM

Poohtie made a very good point about how to do that ....Living in the moment. Focusing on what you are doing right NOW. Not what you did this morning or are going to do next week or what happened years ago. Use your senses and note what they are observing and taking in. Remember to breathe. Treat yourself with respect and care....you deserve it a nd it is a model for how others "should" treat you. YOu can only take in and focus on one thing at a time....so to repeat, keep it in the moment...self awareness. Your mind wont be able to focus onthe other things.
'If a worrisome, intrusive or anxious thought does come up, right it down and set it aside. Keep a designated half hour a day to worry and sort out thoughts that you wrote down for the day.

I wish you well. I hope these are a good start. (((Hugs)))

rosie28681

06-08-2008, 12:34 PM

There are times when I'm just not happy, and it's very difficult to force myself to be happy. But I don't have to let my feelings bring everyone around me down too, so sometimes I fake it.

I can identify with this. I am a single parent and it is hard to always be happy but I don't want my kids to worry about bills and whatnot so I tend to keep those things away from them. It is my job to worry about it.

rosie28681

06-08-2008, 12:44 PM

In general, I chose happiness. This isn't to say that I am always happy. My dh left 2.5 yrs ago and it was hard to find happiness again. I had to struggle with how to support and raise 3 teens without a college education. Luckily, some things worked in my favor. It took a while but I did pull myself up by the bootstraps and get over being terrified and I am finally the person I wanted to be all this time, all by myself.

There is a lot of illness in my family. My mom has a bunch of health issues, along with being a widow twice over and as spiritual as she is, she is depressed much of the time. It is hard to be around her sometimes but I try to show her love and happiness to try to cheer her up.

So to me, choosing happiness isn't about being happy every single second of the day. I don't think we are promised that. I think choosing happiness is more about our attitudes toward life and how we try to deal with the things in our lives.

Making other people happy, makes me happy.

Dianezz

06-09-2008, 02:52 PM

I dont know that we would appreciate happiness and the gifts we have, such as being able to help someone, if we didnt have struggles. Awareness of our struggles and appreciation of them as well ( I dont mean in a happy delightful way....realizing our emotions, acknowleding them , they are a gift..not going into denial)

vgtigger

06-28-2008, 07:15 PM

I've decided to stop living as a victim of circumstance. I'm in control of my own happiness. I don't really have any family or friends close by and spend way too much time alone than one person should, so hopefully by taking the steps to happiness I'll meet some people along the way. The steps I will take is to tackle my weight problem with increase activity and diet. Happiness for me is about adventure, getting out and exploring so I am going to sign up for a 2 day kayak lesson, and also sign up to volunteer with Habitat for humanity. As for work, well I just need to change my attitude and handle stress differently, right now there aren't any jobs I can change to so I will make the best of where I'm at and be happy I am collecting a paycheck.

Poohtie

06-29-2008, 09:22 AM

Dianezz

06-29-2008, 11:52 AM

RHB

07-29-2008, 07:07 PM

:queen:
I choose to be happy for the next 24 hours. Happiness is an "inside" job. I can choose to be sad, mad or angry AND I can choose to be happy. Just for the next twenty four hours, I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! :cheering:

RHB

07-31-2008, 06:29 PM

...for the past two days. :) And guess what?! I had two wonderful days at work, where at the end of the day I was not a depressed, angry human being. I have proved to myself and I hope this brief statement helps to provide evidence to others that happiness is a state of mind! :queen: Try it. You'll love it! :yahooo:

notfirstrodeo

08-16-2008, 08:10 PM

I can be a very negative person and I don't want to be anymore. I work around lots of negative people in a very negative environment, so it can be hard to be happy. I am happy at home for the most part, but the negativity has slowly creeped into my home life too.

I am choosing to be happy no matter where I am and not let others affect my happiness the way I have in the past. I believe happiness is contagious and I believe it perpetuates to other good things in life.

Here's to the new happy person!!! :dance: :D

Dianezz

08-17-2008, 12:32 PM

ProudMommyDebbie

08-17-2008, 01:46 PM

It is hard for me sometimes to remember to see the happiness of life when so many negative situations try to bear me down, but I have come to realize that the happiness usually out ways the bad.
At the end of the day I remember that I have three beautiful children and a miracle husband, so I will always smile when i awake and before I sleep, knowing I have them four.

I choose happiness..........Cheers to us all!! :p

ProudMommyDebbie

08-17-2008, 01:54 PM

Good for you tammy! NOt letting other peoples moods,attitudes, or thoughts decide your feelings and responses is a big accomplishement.

I am having a really rough time of it right now...I recently had my 3rd surgery this summer. Well this one did go so well and I am having terrible complications. I am devestated and having trouble seeing past it and feeling very confined and lonely.
I have been through a lot this year....Mom mom being very ill and in Hospice, my son getting into a car accident...really I could jsut go on. I have done very good at counting my blessings and seeing the good in the situations. I jsut cant do it this time ....I jsut feel hopeless....like things can't turn around for me..there is not any medical help for me. I am devestated..really falling. I fight so hard to find the best I can out of each day despite my many challenges. I feel beat this time. I want to turn around.

Hello Dianezz,

You are stronger than I am sure you give yourself credit for, and other people do see a wonderful person in you.
So many bad things happening in such short periods of time wear us down, and try to get in the way of what we know will just be a hurdle trying to get us off the path of living a life that we want, filled with happiness, laughter, and plenty of smiles.

You need a break, or a time to refresh yourself, your body and mind are so tired.
As long as you do not give up on yourself, or give up on others you know are there to help you, then you will get through this, and get back to feeling not so lost, or so broken down.

I hope you start to recover better and the complications do not keep coming.
Best Wishes to you and your family.

Hugs,
Debbie

vgtigger

08-17-2008, 05:10 PM

I can so relate, others see me as a pillar of strength all while I'm crumbling inside. since my hysterectomy wich was suppose give me better quality of life, I've become this person I don't recognize, just a miserable puke because I ended up more debilitated after surgery and complications and two years of aggrivation, and medical bills stacking up.. I feel like my life was ripped out from under me.. but all the while I had a friend say to me one day "I don't know how you stay so pleasant all the time"... so I guess I am putting on a good front. But really struggle with depression.. so in terms of Happiness, I've decided to reclaim my life, and take baby steps to change.. to get back to that place of Happy go Lucky me...

trishaloha

09-15-2008, 11:58 AM

Happiness has been hard to come by at many turns in my life--I blame myself, my addiction to alcohol, for much of my unhappiness. It wasn't until, faced with losing the love of my life to my addiction, that I fought and fought hard to stop drinking. Beneath that alcoholism I found the "real me"--a fairly happy, content and motivated person.

It has, however been a rough 2-3 years...I have lost my mother, a very close female friend, and a male friend who was killed in Iraq in a very short time. I have, however, always battled my way through these tough times and made a conscious decision to be happy as I cannot change the past or the circumstances around me.

Whenever in doubt, I read the words of a letter that my dear dad wrote to me once while I was trying to quit drinking--he wrote to me about what happiness meant to him, growing up during the Great Depression and also while fighting in WW II. Perhaps I will share that at another time though. His words have always inspired me and touch me deeply. Through the roughest of times, I count on that letter and also the last lines of my favorite poem, "Desiderata":

And whatever your labors & aspirations--
In the noisy confusion of life keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

And that is what I do--I strive to be happy--I make my own happiness and know that no one else can do it for me...