GirlsGetGoing - Seperate or Joint Checking Accounts?

Marian Paroo

01-29-2006, 04:40 AM

Hi,
My boyfriend and I are getting married in June. We have begun to talk about our finances.

We are trying to decide whether to mantain seperate checking accounts, have one joint account, or some other combination.

I just wondered if anyone can offer advice about what they do and why?

Thanks!

I'm single, but a lot of my friends with partners, do it this way.

Each partner keeps his/her own checking a/c, but decides that x % of their income will go into a joint a/c for house expenses and expenses that effect both halves of the couple.

bumblebeequeen

01-29-2006, 12:04 PM

My DH and I did it as Marian Paroo suggests at first but over time we adjusted to a main checking account and an allowance to be put in separate savings accounts or spent at our personal discretion. It was better than balancing 3 checking account every month. We clear any expense written out of our joint account over $100.00 with each other so we don't get carried away.

YellowRoseTex

01-29-2006, 01:29 PM

Hi
I think joint is the way to go. I really don't understand those that keep things separate. If you're willing to commit to each other, I think you should commit. IMHO having separate checking accounts does not show trust, nor committment.

When I moved in with my dh many years ago, that is the first thing we did, get a joint checking account. Shortly after we were together, I received a settlement due to an accident I had before I met him. All my friends were telling me to put the money in a separate account. One that had only my name on it. As I thought about it, I decided that if I did that it wouldn't show much trust for my future dh. And if I didn't trust him, what was I doing with him? Ultimately we put the money in a joint account, which gave us a jump start on our savings account and we've never looked back.

pednurse

01-29-2006, 02:32 PM

Just my :twocents: but my DH & I have one joint account. When we first married (10 1/2 years ago), I was working full-time as an RN while he finished school. Once he finished school, he started working full-time while I stayed home with the family we were starting. Now I still am a stay-at-home-mom with our 2 kids while my DH works full-time and goes to school to work on his master's degree. There have never been any arguments. Whomever is working puts the money in the account. All household expenses come out of this account. When we want to buy something for ourselves, we do (keeping in mind our overall budget). If it's something over say $25, we will discuss it together. If we have the money in the budget, OK, if not, we wait. We trust each other to act responsibly with the money and it hasn't been a problem. Like I said, just my opinion.

QuiltAngel

01-29-2006, 02:48 PM

We started out with one joint account. As time went on, we have two joint accounts. The bulk of the money goes in the one I mainly use to pay bills, buy food, etc. My husband is a Pastor and gets reimbursed for mileage and a few other things. He uses his account for those things, so mainly business expenses and reimbursements. We can both use both accounts. We also have it set up that each account protects the other in case of the misfortune of overdrawing one, which we go out of our to not do, but mistakes do happen. All of our bank accounts, checking, savings, investment are joint.

I feel like marriage is a joint endeavor in everything you do. When you have separate accounts, then you have to figure out who pays for what and what if someone runs low. I agree with Kim in that it shows commitment and trust.

Votelady

01-29-2006, 07:30 PM

I think it is up to the couple. We have separate accounts. But we are older and this is each of our second marriages. Both of us want to stay financially independent. I think it is very important to have money of your own.

pattyaks

01-29-2006, 08:05 PM

My dh & I have a joint checking & savings account. We have been married for 27yrs. I agree with Kim it showes trust in each other.

piper_creek Both of you will need to agree & decide on what is the best choice to make in this matter. As this is a very important decission for the both of you.

Ms Big Butt

01-29-2006, 08:39 PM

Hi piper :)

When we first got married, my hubby did the bills, and it drove us crazy. He would pay off everything in one fell swoop and we would be flat broke til next payday. He didn't get the concept of juggling in between paychecks to make sure we had enough for a jug of milk.

We soon settled on me handling the bills, and we have joint accounts on most everything. Once a week, I copy from his checkbook/check register, so mine is the "main" register & everything can be in one spot. I use Quicken to track the $$ now, and it's kind of fun to watch the net worth inch up as time marches on. I think the joint account idea can only work if you have similar spendingsaving patterns & ideas.

I really do understand the folks who want to keep separate when they are entering into 2nd marriage and may have prior assets or liabilities. :)

Weiser

01-30-2006, 08:00 PM

When my husband moved to Idaho, where I am from, we added him to my checking account and we have had joint accounts every since. No matter who makes the money, it all goes into the same account, and all the bills and living expenses are paid from that account. Before we make any large purchases, we talk to each other. We are a couple in every aspect of our lives, so our financial situation is no different.

jasper

01-30-2006, 09:13 PM

We have a joint account for all our everyday expenses but I also keep an account of my own for all my "extra" stuff, this has always been the case the whole of our marriage, my DH doesn't mind this as I've always worked and he is a bit old fashioned in thinking that the husband provides. I have a credit card on his account and one of my own. I always buy gifts for him or personal treats with mine, it's only fair :)

Glinda

02-03-2006, 06:22 PM

Joint account here. I do the books, so DH rarely even needs to write a check. When he does, he reminds me he doesn't appreciate having to use the flowered checks I buy. :p he-he

Ginger Coots

02-04-2006, 08:20 AM

Joint. My husband says he is terrible with money and he has always given me his paycheck to do with as I thought best. When I started working we combined those paychecks, but he still prefers to have me take of the bills/saving etc. I find it to be a awesome show of trust that he did this right from the begining (I was 18 when we married). If we need money for something we simply take it out of the bank. We have never dealt with checks and use cash for about 90% of purchases (visa for a few others). For us it works great.

Pipkitty

02-05-2006, 12:32 PM

When my DH and I were married almost ten years ago we decided to keep separate checking accounts as we both had home based businesses. Also we were older and the house we live in is in my name and therefore I pay the mortgage and mantainance. He pays for everything else, utilities, groceries, insurence etc. I make the payments on my car and credit cards and he does the same. This helps us maintain some independence from each other. I think it is important for couples ot have their own money and credit card accounts. It comes in handy when to want to surprise each other at birthdays or anniversaries.

SouthDakotaSherry

02-05-2006, 12:46 PM

In my first marriage we had a joint account and it worked well. I am married for the second time and we both entered this marriage with bills of our own. We have maintained seperate accounts (although they are both technically joint) and we have them linked online. We have seperated the bills and who pays what, but the money seems to float between the accounts. (Okay, he usually puts money in MY account, but he makes twice as much as I do!)

You have to find the system that works for you. There is no RIGHT answer.

MalteseJane

02-06-2006, 01:46 PM

We have been married over 40 years and have always had joint accounts. I am the one taking care of the accounts paying bills and taxes. I use Peachtree accounting to keep track mostly of credit card bills. For us too it's a question of trust. If you don't trust each other why get married in the first place. I have been lucky also with my partner. He is not overspending and maxing out credit cards without my knowing. In order for this to work, both partners have to be financially responsible people. Mariage is a partnership. In order to work, both partners have to work together to accomplish financial stability.

sagespot

02-07-2006, 05:09 AM

I'm a very independent minded gal - so when I got married, we continued to have our own personal accounts but created both a joint checking and savings account at the bank that holds our mortgage.

Personal paychecks are deposited into our own respective accounts and then we keep a certain amount (kind of like an allowance for personal stuff,) and dump the rest into the joint checking for bills and such.

As I'm better with money than my husband, I pay all the bills, but we have a monthly "meeting" where we sit down over coffee and talk about how much we're going to put into savings for that month.

This way we have money for our own purchases and hobbies (I'm an avid book collector and my husband collects guitars,) but we still have equal input on larger purchases. It seems to work great for us!

Sage

cragots

02-07-2006, 06:16 PM

I know at least two couples who maintain separate accounts, and I honestly don't get it...I am married for the second time and we have a joint checking and savings account. We have both come into money since we have been married, and it all gets spent (or saved!) according to both of our wishes. I take care of the bills and he is responsible for telling me what he spends. As others have said, I believe it's a matter of trust. You're either in...or you're out!!!

RevMom10

02-07-2006, 08:29 PM

Sharing money can be one of the most difficult issues in marriage especially if the couple has different spending habits. As a blended family we have a joint account that we both used to fund when the kids were younger and we made similar income. Husband now funds it but I do the budgeting for it and pay all the bills.We still have separate checking accounts. I had a lot of issues about money in my first marriage and this has really helped. We don't share credit either. My daughter just got married and they are using one account. They are doing fairly well with it. My son and his wife have a joint and separate accounts as he has spending problems and debit. This is working for them as they deal with his money problems. It all takes communication no matter which way you handle it.

Mori

02-08-2006, 10:48 PM

I've always liked having separate accounts because it makes me feel more independant. ;)

LindaAnn

02-10-2006, 09:33 PM

Hi Piper-

I'm an advocate of the joint account. My hubby and I moved in together in 1990 before we were married (but were engaged at the time!). We opened a joint account and from then on, there was no more "yours" and "mine." It was an indicator that we were in this together and would work as a team, facing things together. We agreed that we should talk about any purchases of $50 or more - not so much as permission, but as "is this a good purchase for us at this time?" We still pay bills together every month ( I write the checks, he addresses the envelopes and fills out the payment slips). After the essentials are paid, we discuss what is leftover and any upcoming expenditures. This way, we both have a complete picture of our fianacial situation and we are able to make financial decisions together. In 14 1/2 years of marriage, we have never had a fight about money.

On the other hand, my brother and sister-in-law maintain separate accounts from each other. One pays the rent, the other the power bill, etc. I don't know how it all works with bills, but they will go out for dinner and have to have a discussion about who is going to pay for the meal. Are you kidding me??? They have been married 13 years and argue about paying for dinner? No thanks!

One exception - I highly recommend that each partner have their own credit history. Not for the purpose of keeping something separate, but in the event that one partner dies, the other has credit history of their own.

Just my thoughts - I feel very blessed to have the hubby that I have and I hope you are as lucky as I have been! Congratulations and Best Wishes on your marriage!!!

Lady Bug

02-12-2006, 01:48 PM

My husband and I have been together since our teens and married for 33 years. My parents as well as his only had one joint checking account along with a joint savings. We do the same and it has always worked. Once when he was in business for himself, we kept a separate checking account due to the business. It is a personal decision.

DieNarrin

02-13-2006, 03:15 PM

I vote for a joint account. But we have always each had an amount that we could spend each month that we didn't have to discuss. Out own "mad" money. At first we tried to keep track of it in the checking account. Well someone would spend it and then forget that he spent it (never me - I am perfect!) So we set up two extra savings accounts and just moved the money into those eacy month. Now we have two extra checking accounts with debit cards. Works great for us.

So we could spend it each month or save it for something bigger to blow it on. So I don't feel guilty when I find those wonderful earrings.

My husband loves to tell people that I give him an allowance and he cant go out cause he spent it all on candy.
What's even worse some of his friends even believed him! And he thinks some of my friends are airheads!

One really good hint if you have a joint account - I get two sets of checks and his check numbers start in the 5000 and mine are in the 3000 so I always know who wrote what check - makes it so much easier to balance.

ashanti1922

02-14-2006, 03:05 PM

SEPERATE!!!!! Trust me.

showme girl

02-14-2006, 05:55 PM

After being married for 20 years.........

We have separate accounts......mine and ours!! :D

Just kidding.....unless either of you have second marriages, huge assets or huge liabilities, just do the joint account. Too much trouble, paperwork, etc. Also, I knew someone that did the percent of income thing (she was a math teacher friend)and it got to be a huge deal btw. them about percent spending. Too much trouble.

Trust is the key in everything.

PositivelyMental

02-14-2006, 07:33 PM

Well, I'm old-fashioned and think you sink or swim together. You are more likely to spend wisely if you are both deciding together, rather than each doing their own thing. Just my 2 cents!

Let us know what you decide and how it works for you!

ashanti1922

02-14-2006, 08:07 PM

:) :)

busymom

02-15-2006, 04:45 AM

Shebop020107

02-15-2006, 07:52 AM

My husband and I are married 13 years this May and we have had a joint account for years. I pay the bills because I am home. We both have money allotted to us for our spending and we budget for extra expenses such as holidays or special occasions.

angrw76

02-15-2006, 02:03 PM

If your boyfriend is good with money then joint is fine. My DH is terrible with money and our finances have been a disaster. I wish I had kept a separate account! ( :

Lady Bug

02-16-2006, 05:56 AM

I believe that is a question you will have to answer for yourself. My husband and I have always had a joint account until the past month. I had a hysterectomy about 2 years ago and since than I have not been able to get a grip on anything. I quit paying the bills, not that I didn't have the money, I just couldn't make myself do it, I have lost control of my house, after just 2 years he has finally realized what I have done and has taken over the checkbook. We have just made the decision to have separate accounts but he will take the bill. It was really hard for me for him to realize what I had done, but by having my own checking account I still feel like I have some control.......

I had to respond to you, because your description fits me so well. I'm sorry that you are having difficulty, but I appreciate so much your sharing. I thought that I was the only one to "lose my place". I also had a TAH, followed soon after by a large hernia repair, and then a mastectomy. The last surgery sent me into the same place that you are. I used to balance the checkbook to the penny. Now, I stash all the receipts somewhere and call for my balance constantly. Most bills are automatically deducted from our account, but smaller ones (cell phones, etc.), I get calls and reminders that I haven't paid. It is not a happy place to be, but I keep thinking I will overcome all of this. Thanks for sharing so honestly. I know I am not alone.

nowakd1133

02-16-2006, 03:12 PM

My hubby and I started with a joint account. Once we became parents, financially stable and mortgage-free, then things changed. After ten years of marriage, I wanted my own account in order buy stuff for me and not feel guilty (my husband works overtime and pockets this money for himself). I used to always feel guilty for spending money on me, rather than my kids and now with my own account, I feel much better about it.

batgirl9923

02-18-2006, 05:14 PM

My husband & I have a joint checking account, 2 joint savings accounts, and a joint money market account.

However, part of his pay is automatically deposited in "his" savings account while part of my pay is automatically deposited in "my" savings account.

Depending on what the purchase is, we decide whether to use "his" savings account or mine, or to withdraw some money for both accounts.

It works out very well for us. I think it boils down to matter of trusting you mate.

triplej2676

02-22-2006, 09:23 PM

what a great thread! thanks to all of you for posting what has worked for you.. i think as long as it works for you, it is the right way to do it!

Jessica

Punkybird

02-22-2006, 11:31 PM

I've been married successfully for 17 years. We have always maintained a joint chequing. What's mine is his and his is mine. As a woman, and worried about discrimnation about credit, I found it much more helpful to make sure I maintained credit cards and lines of credit in my name as sole creditor. If something should happen, then my credit isn't wiped out. We keep very open books. It keeps from overspending and well, sneaking. I think it makes for a more honest and open marriage. ;)

100792

02-23-2006, 12:16 AM

My DH and I have two joint checking accounts and we each 'control' one account. The reason that we do this is because my husband travels 2-3 weeks a month. Early in our 20 year relationship we found it was easier if we had seperate accounts.

This has worked great for us. My DH is the $$ maker for us (he makes twice that I do) so he pays the big bills, mortgage, credit card, utilities, automotive expenses, insurance, etc. I being the second income pays for the cable, phones, car, truck, rv, internet, and $$ for our son's school, personal, and sporting events, etc.

It actually seems like I pay more bills but I do not. We both have a monthly budget that we stick to and the bills fit with in our budgets. Each year when we get raises we reevaluate the bill situation to see where we can put extra money, or shift some of the bills.

When my husband travels he fronts the costs of his trip and then is reimbursed from his employer (military) via direct deposit. I also do volunteering for the military support group and get reimbursed via direct deposit for some of my expenses that I incur (sp) during my travelings. With the seperate accounts we do not have any problems knowing who's reimbursement was just put into the account, as the reimbursements go in the correct accounts.

For us the seperate accounts have worked great. Several of our friends find it quite interesting that we do not share accounts. We are not hiding anything from each other as we know who travels when, we know how much each other makes, we see the statements online and budgets on the computer, we have the passwords to each others accounts, and remember we are signers on each others accounts.

My husband even knows that I have two savings accounts that he does not have access to. The savings accounts are in my name and my sons name. The reason for this is if anything should happen to my DH and/or I, then our son can have access to money (along with my brother, the appointed guardian) until finacial situations and wills are cleared up.

From my experience I would recommend seperate accounts if it works for you. If you are not good with money and your spouse is, let them control the money.

Mykhal Jaems

04-19-2006, 05:38 AM

I have the checkbook in my name and when DH gets his check he signs it over to me to be deposited.

I know this sounds awful but I don't trust him with our money.

He is bi-polar and if he has money he HAS to spend it. Before we were married he would get his check (monthly) pay rent and a couple other bills, order take out/delivery food until the money ran out and then NOT EAT until he got his next check. Sometimes this would be weeks. I know it's not healthy and he wasn't on all his meds at the time (he didn't have the money!).

Now that he's on all his meds he's still a compulsive shopper. He has to spend it if he has is. He will have 1.50 in change and walk in the store to see what he can spend it on.

I know not all couples are this way but this is why we don't have credit cards and the check book is in my name only.

babs30224

04-19-2006, 07:37 PM

WE have our own accounts PLUS a 'household account'. Each of us put so much each paycheck into the checking and we pay the bills out of that..works great..and it also serves for emergencies(sp). Good luck! and congrats when you get married.
~~ Cindie~~

Casperkat

07-08-2006, 02:05 AM

We have a joint and separate accounts. I work for our bank so i see the balances every day anyway. However, I can buy him gifts or myself without having to explain it which is nice. When we use the joint account we have a discussion of what is being bought and is it absolutely necessary. Money is one of the biggest issues in any relationship. you need to have some freedom as well as committment. Also, by law - any joint account can be closed, all funds removed, by either party and the bank is NOT required to contact the joint owner. Just a FYI.

expat

07-08-2006, 06:15 AM

Seperate , one never knows what's around the corner ! And if you want to you can have an extra joint one . Good luck and much happiness ! :)

DieNarrin

07-08-2006, 01:51 PM

We have always had joint accounts. However we both have checkbooks that have very differnt check numbers. For instance my are in the 5000 and his are in the 3000.

WIth on-line banking i can always check the balances in our accounts and know who wrote the check. It works for us. We also each have a certain amount that we can spend each month without any rationalization required.

We have always used that if you dont spend it it goes into the joint savings to be used by either with rationalization at a later date. So far we have gone the government route and spend madly at the end of the month to use up our fun money.

mezzo soprano

07-08-2006, 09:47 PM

I have to say I also agree with the joint account idea. Each of you can have a little "mad money" if you want, but almost all of your funds should be joint.

Why? Because you should operate both with trust and with a health check-and-balance system. Here's what I mean: In my household, we both know how much we have to spend every month. If you're operating separately, how are you to know if, say, he paid the house payment. Conversely, what if you "forget" the phone bill for a few months? If you're doing it all jointly, you each have responsibility to make sure things are being paid properly, and it just works out better.

Let me give you another example. I don't mean to scare you with this, but if one partner is doing something shady, having his or her own checking account is a perfect way to hide things. Keeping it all together just keeps people more honest, IMHO.

Autumn Moon

07-11-2006, 09:07 PM

I had to add my :twocents: in here.
In my previous marriage, we had all joint accounts. He actually had me CLOSE my account which I had opened when I was 12 and deposit the money into our new "married-joint account". This also included all the bonds and term deposits which I had worked hard to purchase.
At the end of 7 years of marriage, I advised him that as long as he had a substance abuse problem and refused counselling, I didn't want to be with him any more. He told me that we could work through this. He would continue to pay the mortgage in lieu of child support and I would stay in the house. He took some of the 'community property' stuff from the house (a TV, tools etc). Well, I tried to get gas the next day....Credit cards cancelled (one visa, one mastercard) and there was nothing in either of our joint bank accounts. I was lucky that my girlfriend lived a couple doors down from the gas station and she was home and brought me a couple dollars to pay for the gas (oh, memory flash here...I filled the tank for less than $10).
A couple months later, the bank called to tell me that the house was going to be put into foreclosure and that there had been no payment on the line of credit. My EX had the bank statements sent to his new address so I had no idea this was going on. Found out that the EX had spent 10 grand on the line of credit...for which I was still responsible. He also maxxed out the Visa, which he had cancelled my card, but, because I had signed the application, was still responsible for ALL OF THE AMOUNT OWING. And, he had removed my name from the term deposits. So, after all this was done, I had HUGE debt and NO ASSETS.
I am also going to mention here that he also withdrew all the money from DD's education savings plan...2 years after our separation...because it was also a joint ownership. I had been depositing money into it EACH MONTH since the day she was born.

My current DH and I each have our own bank accounts, with one joint account. I have credit cards, he doesn't. This works for us. It might not work for you. We have no joint assets. We maintain and pay for our own vehicles. There is no question of trust. We trust each other in all matters. This is just easier.

Jojo

07-26-2006, 10:23 AM

We also do joint accounts. We did this when we first got married 21 years ago and have never considered it any other way. We're one financial unit!!

jojo

Outdoor Girl

06-27-2007, 09:34 PM

Wow, this is REALLY a sore spot for me! My husband and I have separate accounts. I was married once before, and my ex would empty the account, and not tell me - it was very bad. My current husband is VERY independent, and wanted to keep seperate accounts. I was fine with that until now. When we first married I had a salary, and paid certain bills. I took a real estate position, and you never know what is going on now! Now, I may have to ask him for money, and every time I feel like a failure. :(