Any newly separated/divorced GGGs out there?

[SausaC]

I'm a newly separated mom who is trying to work my way through life one day at a time. I was married for 17 years and left my husband in November of 2005. I've got a 10-year-old son who lives with me....my 19-year-old son chose to stay with my husband. Anyone else struggling with the divorce issue? It would be great to hear how others are solving the problems that arise.

SausaC

[IamCricket]

I too am a newly separated mom. I have a son, who just turned 8. I am having a hard time dealing with this because my situation is unique. My huband is in jail. So not only am I going through the separation, but I am also being forced to explain to my son the why's of where his father is.
Right now, I am taking it one day at a time. There will be no child support/alimony to fall back on. I will be doing this by myself. Then there is the visitation to contend with. It's going to be very hard, but I know that somehow I will get through it.
I hope things go well for you & your son, I know how hard it is to start over.

[SausaC]

Cricket,

You're situation is not as unique as you think. I left my husband because he has been charged with several felonies and might end up in prison this summer. His business has gone bankrupt, the house we own is about to be foreclosed on, and child support is a thing of my imagination. I'm even paying $200 a month for the spouse's health insurance. I know how hard it can be. Please keep in touch, perhaps we can support each other through life's trials.

SausaC

[cajungirl]

Hey, there! I'm also divorced. Don't know if "recently" fits or not - it became final last March. I'm still working through this. I've found a lifeline in a local DivorceCare group. We meet once a week, watching the program DVD, following that with a short discussion period. I've made some great new friends and have received untold comfort, support and encouragement there. It's tough. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to face, am still facing it and know I'm nowhere near "over this." Glad to hear (well, no, that's not exactly true ~ it should be "sorry to hear") there are others out there, too. I know people actually do survive divorce - just never thought I'd be one to have to face this. Maybe we can share tips and encourage each other. How 'bout it?

[Parrothead]

AS much as I hate it, I'm part of the club. DH decided he hasn't been happy for years and wanted to just start over. There were no affairs, no drinking, drugs, fights - no real warning. He moved out in August, and then nothing seemed to happen. In December he said I was dragging my feet, wasn't responding to stuff from his lawyer. I called mine the next day, since I was contesting it, he wasn't being real cooperative with them. We had one mediation session just before Christmas, our second and final one was this past week. We have an agreement, due to health insurance though, i don't think it will be final til May.

I had still been holding out hope that we would be able to work things out, but I am now finally realizing that it is going to happen.

And it's also one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I know how it feels - I never thought I'd be in this position, really really didn't.

I found a DivorceCare group near me, but they only have one more week left of the 13, and don't have it on the church calendar to start up again. There is another group, called Divorce Perspectives, that comes very highly recommended, but it meets about 25 miles away, at night, and I have a real problem driving in unfamiliar territory at night. One of my sisters knows everyone, and even though she's 1800 miles away, she was talking to someone who just happens to know one of the board members and they are trying to find someone who lives near me so I can get a ride the first couple of times, til I'm more comfortable with where they're located.

I also have found some Yahoo groups, one I really like and I visit quite often. There is also a DivorceCare group on Yahoo.

While I'm sorry any of us are in this position, I'm glad to meet others who are going through the same things I am.

[AgingGracefully]

My divorce became final last May. It was kind of ironic. We had been seperated for about a year, and I had moved out and purchased a home of my own. I bought my place in April, on May 11 a huge storm hit causing damage to many people and on May 12 my divorce was final. Oh well...life goes on, but it is hard. I work two jobs to pay the bills, and am always tired. My oldest will graduate from college this year, my middle one is in the service, and my youngest is in high school, but will graduate mid term this next year. So I am pretty much by myself now. It would indeed be nice to offer support and help to others in our situations.
Kathy

[Parrothead]

Wednesday night I made myself go to the Divorce Perspectives meeting. I went in one day to see the route in the daylight, then went to google and got a map also. I didn't have any problems finding it, and I was glad I went. Glad that I went out on my own, to a strange place, with strangers. They meet 52 weeks a year, and 3 out of 4 meetings have a speaker for about 45 minutes then the group breaks up into 3 smaller groups. Which smaller group you go to depends on where you are in the process and/or how long you've been attending meetings. A lot of the people I met were also ending long term marriages - 33 years, 29 years, 28, etc. And it seems that the person who wasn't the one who asked for the divorce is the one who seeks out help and support.

It's too soon to know for sure if it's going to help me, but just taking that first step and getting out in the world can't hurt.

By the way, the quote in my sig line is from their website.

:hug:S to everyone dealing with the end of a relationship

[Shessokitty]

Am i ever happy to see this thread! I am currently going through seperation number three (and FINAL!!) after a 19 year relationship. I have been stuggling and feel so lost as i come from a family where no one has ever seperated or divorced and although they mean well..they just don't understand what i'm going through. I have 3 kids son 18, daughters 12 & 9 who live with me. I have been in this relationship since i was 16yrs old and haven't known any different. I finally feel strong enough to go through with everything and have finally gotten a lawyer. It was a relationship of control, abuse and terrible guilt...although it did have some happy times. Everytime i've tried to end things he puts me through terrible guilt trips and i eventually take him back. This time i've realized the relationship is never going to change and i'm allowing him to make me feel guilty. Its a daily stuggle and one that can't be understood unless you've gone through it. I was thrilled when i found out about GGG as i'm finding out that there are others like me out there and i don't feel so lonely anymore. For anyone who needs to share this experience with someone else.....i am here!
Tracy

[tgp]

Hi. I was married for almost 9 years and my divorce has been final for a little over a year. I still have a really hard time dealing with it. I'm not able to have kids so I haven't had to deal with those issues. But that is another whole issue in itself. Anyway, I guess the thing I have the most trouble with is trust. My husband cheated and to make it worse, he cheated with my best friend. (She was also our pastor's wife) So now I have a hard time with any relationship that I start and I don't mean just men. I have a hard time with friendships as well. But on the bright side, things are not nearly as bad as they were. I finally feel like I can start my life over. I'm so glad I found this website. It is so good to know that you don't have to go through these things alone. :)