Sister Talking Trash in Front Of My Kids

[LoveRainbows]

I am just so upset! :stomp:


My mother and my little sister were suppost to help my grandmother weeks ago with her x-mas tree. Of course they never showed up. So feeling bad I had my two boys go over to help her. There ages are 16 & 12, so I knew they would be lots of help and I had to work.

I guess my mother and sister showed up later to help. Afterwards they all stayed awhile and played cards. The next day my children(mostly the youngest) start telling me how my little sister was talking trash about me.

We have had some problems in the past and I was tired of all the resentment. So I decided to forgive and start fresh. This summer we had a talk and she let out all her feelings. I decided to just forget and forgive and just go on. Some of the things she said kinda hurt, I let it linger for awhile and just forgot about it.

If she still wants to hold resentment for me that's fine, but why in front of my children?!? :shrug: It really made me mad when my youngest told me "mommie auntie called you a bad word." My mouth dropped and I asked what was the first letter. He said the "B word." Then I asked what my mother & grandmother said. He said nothing, it just got really quiet. I can't believe they said nothing!!


The first thing I wanted to do was call her up and give her a piece of my mind. I thought it would be best if I calmed down. I called my other sister and she said it's better to not say nothing because she'll just add to the it and I'll come out looking like the bad one.

I feel like I need to let her know she shouldn't be bad mouthing me in front of my children. I'm the oldest and the only one with kids. She is the youngest and like my middle sister says always has to be the center of attention. I just don't know what her problem is, I thought things were over between us.

It really hurts also that no one else said nothing. My DH was more angry than I was. He doesn't even want our children to go around our family anymore if they're just going to trash me. I really want to get this off my chest, but then I don't want to make things worse. With X-mas around the corner it's going to be so hard to be around the family full of joy. I just really needed to vent and see if any of you have any advice.

Thanks, :frazzled:

[GirlyGirl]

"I feel like I need to let her know she shouldn't be bad mouthing me in front of my children."



Hi LoveRainbows,

Don't waste your time. I'm sure she knows what she did is wrong. Nothing you say will erase what she did or change her behavior in the future. I would be polite to her at family functions, but I wouldnt go out of my way to try to discuss this issue with her or spend time with her. IMHO, it doesnt seem like she cares if her behavior hurts anyone else and confronting her will only give her the attention or drama she seems to be looking for.

We can't pick our family members, but we can choose how we let them influence our daily lives and the lives of our children.

[Kathy]

Sounds like an opportunity to set up boundaries. Make sure your children are never with her without you.

[LuvMaui]

I have a sister that I have choosen to remove from my life. :o

It's been almost 20 years and I don't regret it. Sometimes you have to separate yourself from the drama. :grr:

We see each other at family parties. I say hello and that's it. If she starts up anything :argue: ... I'm outta there.

Good luck! :hmm:

[danigirl]

I am sort of in the same situation... But it is my m-i-l talking trash about my husband and I to my 20 year old daughter.
We will not be going there anymore for Christmas Eve.
I always knew from day 1 she didn't like me. But, if you have a problem with me... talk to me. Don't be all fake and act like everything is ok. I am 40 and tired of games.. If someone has absolutely no positive input in my life.... I rid myself of them... It might seem heartless... but I am so tired of trying to make everyone else happy and conform to them. It stops here and now..

[blondgrl]

In order to prevent any further situations such as this, given you are going to run into them, I'd really make some plans for the time frames they are spending alone with your children. Things like this are so confusing for children to deal with as it conflicts with basics ideas/things they've been taught. It may not be a good idea for them to be alone with them for awhile without you there to be in control of what they are exposed to at all times. Sorry you are going thru this, but think it is wise to look ahead to avoid any further confusion / upset with your kids.