why wont doctors do what you ask them to do?

[peachsnapps_69]

Hi my name is Mary and I am fighting with doctors to do a tubelication on my daughter because her and her husband have one child and have another one on the way that will be born on friday and they want to have a tubelication done after this one is born and the doctor does not want to do it but yet he wants to put her on birth control which does not work for her. Why do we have to fight with doctors to get them to do things that we want done. Any help would be greatly appreciated

[Kathy]

Hi Peach! I would think this would be a concern for your daughter to discuss with the doctor. Of course your daughter and her husband could go to a few other doctors for differing opinions. There are probably some doctors out there that won't do tubals.

Congrats on the new grandbaby!

[LoveRainbows]

I had a tubelication done after my last child.I also wanted it done right after the birth, but my doc. refused to do it.Said I had to wait 3 months till my uterus went down.I wasn't happy but I did wait it out.I was glad I did because I only had 3 small little cuts instead of the big long one that my mom had back in her day.Maybe the doc. wants to wait so the same reason?

[Kate]

Hi Peach!

Your daughter will need to discuss the reasons why with her daughter. Sometimes they don't always communicate the reasons why they do things. But she can always get a couple other opinions.

Congrats on the new baby! I hope the delivery goes well.

[Tarabull719]

Hi peach,

If your daughter really wants the tubal then she needs to ask her doctor why he is refusing to do one? If she isn't comfortable with his/her answer she is well within her right to have a consult with another doctor. It's important to remember that we hired them, not the other way around.

[Doodles]

I had a tubal done after the birth of my third child...I had her by csect and they did it right after she was born.

Sometimes if the doctor is affiliated w/a Catholic hospital they can't do it. But since her Dr. suggested Birth Control, that must not be the case...

She could always get a second opinion?

Good luck and congrats...

debbi

[sandies]

I know that many dr's won't do a tubal until you are a certain age. They feel like if you are young and only have 2 kids, you may change your mind later. Especially since things are the way they are and so many people divorce and start new families. But if she really feels strongly, she should discuss the matter thoroughly with her doctor.

[Banjos]

I know at least one person who had a tubal ligation the day after her second child's birth and did just fine. I strongly feel the doctor should do what the patient requests and not try to second-guess their decision. If a person only wants a specific number of children, second marriages shouldn't make any difference (or it wouldn't to me, anyway). I have a relative who had her tubes tied in her 30's with no children; she decided she did not want any and has never regretted the decision.

[jasper]

I guess it's the way things are Dr's I suppose like to impose there own ideas on us that's why finding a good Dr can be so hard, it's important to be on the same page with things.
This actually happened to my sister, she wanted a tubal ligation after her second son but because she was only mid 20's with 2 boys the Dr advised against it. I have a friend who had one after her 3rd child and later the little boy tragically drowned in a horrible accident, she ended up having it reversed and was lucky enough to have success and had another beautiful baby!!
Goodluck wishing your daughter a safe delivery, I'm sure if she really wants it she can find another Dr.

[Lee]

Anybody know the success rate of a tubal? My cousin had one and was pregnant 9 months later, now I have a co-worker who had one after her son was born 10 months ago....she is now two months pregnant.

[Banjos]

A failed tubal ligation should be very rare with a competent surgeon. Some surgeons are using scarring procedures or using clamping rings instead of cutting the tubes. Maybe, this could explain a higher rate of failure. It is hard to say without knowing the surgical technique used.

[triplej2676]

i find myself more concerned about why you are involved in what seems to be a private matter between your daughter, her husband and her physician. but that is just how my family is.. i understand yours might be different.

doctors go to school for many years and know far more than we do. we pay them for that expertise and knowledge, yet we don't want to trust their advice when they give it. my best advice is to seek out more than one opinion in a case like this.

[GirlyGirl]

Hi Mary. By the time you read this, you might already be Grandma...Congratulations! Your daughter is truly blessed to have a Mom who cares like you do. My Mom and I had a similar relationship...her fights were mine and my fights were hers.

Through my Mom's fight with ovarian cancer and my recent surgery and subsequent hormone problems, I have learned that we do have to be our own best advocates in demanding the best medical information and the best medical care for ourselves and our loved ones. Doctors are like all of us...they have their life experiences and biases that can affect the information and treatment they provide. If a doctor is not providing clear answers, is unresponsive to your concerns or behaves in a condescending manner....find another doctor.

[Banjos]

Triplej, yes, doctors do go to school for many years but once they get busy practices they have limited time to keep up with the latest research. Also, they are only human. I am very picky about doctors but you can be sure I research any problem I have, also. I'm all for second or even third opinions if the situation is serious or non-emergency surgery is involved. I know far too many people who had a surgery that they would not have had if they had gotten other doctors' opinions. It is your body, your life and you will have the consequences so, to me anyway, it just makes sense to be as informed and involved as possible.