2 lives + 5 kids = YIKES!

[lileduk8r]

I am getting married in June, 2008. My fiance lives 60 miles away from me and will be moving to my town (what a sweetie he is!). Between the 2 of us, we have 5 kids, 3 of whom will be in college. We both teach and have tenure in our respective sites. I am overwhelmed with all the decisions we have to make soon: rent out our homes or sell, joint bank accts or a combo of both, how do we arrange our finances/retirement/life insuranceliving trust so that our kids (I have 2 and he has 3) will be taken care of in the event one of us passes away....
remember when things used to be so easy? You fell in love, you got married! Now we have so many responsibilities that to be spontaneous with our choices is probably unwise.
I certainly don't expect anyone here to respond to this but it sure feels good to vent!

[jcme]

lileduk8r,

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. It sounds like you are thinking things through so everything should be fine.

All I can say is to make sure all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted when documenting your wishes to make sure there is no question as to what you want to happen. People, even close family, can act much differently when there is thoughts of inheriting things.

[TAC2005]

lileduk8r.....I know how you feel.

I remarried 2 years ago. I moved 250 miles away with my THREE children to his house and his FIVE children(ok only 2 were living there at the time...now 3 are). Children range in age from 7 to 16.
We decided is house because #1 he owned and I rented, #2 his job...mine was transferable.
There has been alot of issues with the kids....mostly between the kids (sharing issues, whose rules, whose traditions, how things should be done, etc.) It does get better. I wish I had realized all the issues that could arise, so I could address them before they became a big problem. We have had lots of family meetings!!!!!

Best of luck to you!! Remember to comunicate...sometimes the little things end up being the biggest issues.

[YellowRoseTex]

Sounds like you have thought things thru and are on the right track. :thumbsup: I don't have personal experience to share with merging households, but wanted to drop by and say :hello: and let you know that it does sound like you are doing all the right things. :hug:

[lileduk8r]

I want to wish everyone who has done this with a blending of families good luck but I know it takes a lot more than luck. It takes patience and foresight but I think most of that foresight happens later!!!