Should I be upset

[Kim308pl]

Ok so my best friend of well like 8 years has moved away. In the past few years we have not been very close, but we were pregnant at the same time, our children were born 2 weeks apart, we would still call each other and do the best we could to make play dates for our children.

She sent me an email about 4 weeks ago, telling me she was moving to another state and all. We did not talk after then as she was busy packing and I was working and had surgeyr. Well I emailed her to give her an update after my surgery and got this auto reply that she was in the process of moving and not sure when she will be back online. This really upset me. I let her know it to, which I probably should not have.

I mean she did not bother calling me and telling me bye, sending an email to tell me bye or some see me. Nothing, just left without anything.

Shouhld I be upset about this and what should I do.

Kim

[Kathy]

Personally, I wouldn't have been upset because I've been in the shoes of the mover and I know how hard it is to get things together, pack my life into boxes, turn off the utilities and haul everything to a new home....and the challenge of getting things out of the boxes and back into their place.

I also noticed when I moved that some of my friends seemed to disappear (for many reasons) about the time I was moving. It stung a bit but I've realized that some women don't know how to handle having their friends move away. She might have been sad that she didn't hear from you earlier in her moving process. She might have been so busy moving she didn't notice.

I wouldn't let it stop you from trying to contact her and reach out to her. She is your friend. You are her friend. If you have a phone number, call her. Friendship is golden.

Forgetting what lines behind and press on in kindness.... is what holds friends together IMO.

[jasper]

I am on the same track as Kathy, moving house is up there with the most stressful things!!! I too noticed alot of my friends were absent during moving times, except my best friend ( this re-affirms that's she truly is my BEST friend) she came to my house the next day after moving in and helped clean , unpack, make lunch etc.
I know it hurts Kim, contact your friend again, maybe send her a new home card and let her know you miss her, we often forget that we're not the only ones dealing with things. Don't right her off yet, hope your feeling better soon :hug:

[LoveRainbows]

I also agree with these ladies.You never know what's going on with her.I know your hurt because she really didn't make an atempt to contact you after your surgery, but until you really know what was going on give her a chance to explain.It would be ashame to lose a friend of so many yrs. over something that could have been a misunderstanding.

[Kim308pl]

Let me add that she is suppose to be my best friend. It seems she only calls me when she needs help with something. SO I think she was drifting anyway, ever since she got married, things have not been right with us. I did call and leave messages and they were never returned. I did findo ut through mutual friends that she called them. I just do not understand why should could not have picked up the phone.

Now she is in another state, she apparently does not have her computer up and running yet , so there is no number, address or anything for her.

[showme girl]

Move on and find someone who deserves your kindness.

[BBShopMom]

Kim,

What a tough situation. I understand how hurt you must feel, I have a "best" friend betray my friendship and trust and can relate.

Personally, I'm a firm believer in forgiveness. I know how hard it is and am still working on total forgiveness myself, but if you at least tell yourself that you forgive her, whatever her reasons for drifting away, at least you may find some closure and feel better about things. It may not fix your relationship but may help to fix your heart. Maybe sometime you can find a way to conact her and let her know how you feel and things can be fixed.

I hope you get the opportunity to get in touch with her again, if for nothing else than to clear the air and share your honest feelings.

Hugs to you!

[Kim308pl]

I emailed her mom, I asked if I could get her address. She emailed me back and gave me her old address and number here, then said, but she moved, I do not have that on me right now, hope that helps...Ok that was wied.

[Autumn Moon]

Hi Kim
Was just wondering if you had been able to get in touch with your friend.
Knowing what it's like moving, and not just within the city but 3000 miles away, I can truly appreciate her 'drifting away'.
You mentioned that things changed when she got married. I would think that would be a natural progression in her life. She is spending massive amounts of time with her new husband.
You said that she was supposed to be your best friend. Well, I strongly believe that my best friend can be absent from my life for a short period of time and still be my best friend. My best friend lives 3000 miles away. We talk through email about once a month to catch up. When we get together in person, it's like we have never been apart. We have been friends for over 20 years. Went through a number of personal issues together and always knew that the other was right there for whatever support we needed.

A truly best friend should have 3 words about you...
whatever, whenever, where ever.

Autumn

[charliemae]

Kim, if she made a change of address through the Post Office, you might be able to get her address. I had sent a card to some aquaintances, and they had moved. The card came back with a little yellow label on it that contained their new address. I just wrote a new envelope, and mailed it to the address on the yellow label. They were very happy to hear from me, and have been communicating with me ever since. I wish you luck...if she really is a friend, she'll write back. If not, you might be better off writing her off. Allow yourself a good cry, and move on. HUGS

[Zasu]

My closest friends are all over the place. It's hard to stay in touch because our lives are in such different places now. We do the best we can by calling when we are able, e-mailing when we get a chance......whatever. My best friend and I hardly ever get to talk anymore....her kids are in HS and my DS is grown, we work different shifts, etc., but we are always there for each other when we need to be......I drove down to California for a week last year to help take care of her after she had a terrible accident, she is flying up here next month to be with me when I have surgery. My best friend from HS has 4 young kids and works from home. We hardly ever talk, but when we do the friendship is still there. I would find her and attempt to mend the fence.......you really need to keep the people in your life who knew you when. I find that it's really difficult to make friends these days and the people I know here don't know anything about me when I was younger or have any clue what my life was like before. Sometimes I just have to make time to go home and be around those old friends to remember who I am.