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Bambi5
02-15-2009, 08:52 AM
Hi,
Iam new on here so I hope Iam posting in the right area ...prayers and wisdom is what I need .....I feel how can I go on in this so called marriage of 33yrs. a marriage where there has never been a good relationship and when I think back I see where i survived only by the grace of God and His strength ....today I feel like I cannot go on anymore my life looks hopeless ...future bleak....and all I have done is failed ....my children have scars from all the hurts even tho they are grown excepts for one still at home .....if I try to express my feelings we only go into a deep agrument and the hurts get deeper and I say to myself I will never again try to talk and try to share my heart ....we have nothing spiritual,physical,emotional,financial or mental together....I long for a connection and have for 33yrs...rejection is the name of the game ......when we go to church all looks well to others but inside my heart the pain is growing along with that comes feelings of anger,resentment ,hopelessness,and depression,,,,,I have suggested counselling for us and he says absolutely NO...plus we go to a church who says No one needs counselling the Bible is the anwser to problems ....which I know but I beleive people sometimes need biblical counselers to help them along.....I could go on and on .....my life really feels doom right now and no one to share with so its really lonely......the pastor says if we don't have joy or are depressed we probably aren't saved....??? He says if marriages are failing its usually the wifes fault.....I guess I feel done and shattered......

LuvMaui
02-15-2009, 11:52 AM
Hi Bambi5,

33 years together and children. That's a huge investment of life. I understand how busy life gets raising kids, the years fly by and so does youth.

Your Pastor sounds bias to men. I wouldn't listen to that garbage about failing marriages are usually the wife's fault :cool: Come on now, that's out of line.

Some times we all need to vent, or just have shoulder to cry on. If that is what you need, that's ok.. we're here for you. But if you have truly been suffering and unhappy for 33 years, well, I'm so sorry that you hung in there for so long. I hope you will make some changes to make the rest of your life good. You owe it to yourself, your parents, your children and to God.

You're in my prayers :)

jcme
02-15-2009, 01:43 PM
Hi Bambi5,

My heart and prayers go out to you.

I am so sorry you feel the way you do and so angry at the responses you've recieved while trying to resolve your issues with your husband and church.

Your pastor sounds like he is stuck in the dark ages based on what you've stated.

Even if all the answers to solve everyone's problems are in the bible, people sometimes need to be guided and supported to find them. In my opinion, this is counseling and you need to seek out the people who can help you find the answers you need.

Take care

D'anne
02-15-2009, 06:37 PM
HI Bambi5:
I sure can feel your pain as I am sure the others do. I don't know
what church you go to but I am with the others. Your Pastor does not sound like he gives sound biblical advice. I am not one for saying separation or divorce is the answer... But I too was in a relationship like yours and ended up leaving. Christian counseling is my answer but it is obvious that the Pastor you have isn't the one who would give the best counseling. My marriage lasted 13 years so 33 years of having this kind of relationship can definately take a tole on everyone involved.
You will be in my prayers daily. I am so sorry your Pastor has failed you... He will answer to Lord someday for giving you such advice. We all need Spirtual guidance from time to time.
God Bless!

jules2707
02-16-2009, 05:42 PM
Hi Bambi5

So glad you have found us here at GGG. You are in the right place to get some help and support from all the ladies here.

I am saddened by your story so far, but rest assured we are all here for you. Please don't hesitate to ask for our help. There is a wealth of knowledge and inspiation on this site for you.

Don't give up, things will get better for you I promise.

You are in my thoughts and hope to hear from you soon.

Take care
Love and hugs
Jules
xxx