cheating daughter in law

[boristhecat]

Recently my son and his wife broke up over her seeing another man. They have a child together and she is pregnant again with another child. He says the baby is his. He said she started cheating on him a week before she found out she was pregnant. He did try for about 3 weeks to win her back but she wanted the other guy. In those 3 weeks that he tried to work things out with her, he would call me long distance trying to get advise from me and my husband on how to win her back.She knows that we were talking to him during that time trying to help him especially many nights he was alone with our granddaughter when she went out and he would call us in tears saying he loved her and didn't want to leave his home.He couldn't bare the pain any more of her being with the other guy and he left his home. As soon as he left, the other guy moved in. She was a great daughter in law and i really wished they had worked it out. Now that they split up, I find it difficult to pick up the phone and call her. Any advise on what i should say? Should i even mention anything about the split or why? We had talked this past christmas about my granddaughter visiting this summer before the split. Should i bring that up?

[handywoman]

I'm so sorry you are going through this pain. It is so difficult to see your child going through this and wanting to protect/help them.

As hard as it may be, sometimes it is best not to mention the issues between them. They may still be able to work out their issues. Even if they can't, it sounds like you still want to maintain open communication so you can see your grandchildren.

I would absolutely still mention having your granddaughter visiting you for the summer. I have a granddaughter also and would do anything to still have a relationship with her. I have had to bite my tongue many times, but the joy from her is well worth it.

Blessings to you.
Darlene

[homeschooling_momma]

I am so sorry that you & your son is going thru this. I will never understand why someone cheats on someone else. Especially when they have a family....Its the sadest of all for the children, who are totally blameless in this, and no longer have their Mom and Dad together.

As hard as it is, you need to keep in mind that but for the grace of God there go I.

I am sure the Lord will give you the strength that will surpasseth understanding...especially when you look at those grandchildren & see how the love grows and grows no matter what has happened with their Mother.

this is the sadest of sad. I am so sorry for you all.

Know that theres a reason for everything. I know that when I was going thru my dark times I didnt see a light at the end of the tunnel, but now that I look back I see that God did indeed have a plan for me a future for me with my Boo (Travis) and if the guy had remained loyal, etc. then we wouldnt be together, and I can not for one minute imagine my life without him in it with us.

Please keep us updated as to how your son is doing, and remember to let us know when the babe gets here...babies are ALWAYS a blessing.

God bless,
Kimberly
(Alabama)

[Mori]

I'm so sorry your son is going through this & I understand it must be very hard on you as well. You say she was a great daughter in law, but I have to wonder. How does a good wife & mother put her "needs" first, & how does she bring another man in the house so easily? Your son is hurting & may not realize it at the moment, but he deserves a lot better than that! I admit I feel very bad for children when their family is torn apart, but accepting a "cheating wife" for the sake of the child is something he should think long & hard about. :mad:

[boristhecat]

Well, my daughter in law called and didn't say a word about what happened between her and my son. We spoke about my granddaughter and her new pregnancy. She is due in the early fall. She said she wants to come to visit us when she has a few days off. She has not been able to contact my son and wanted me to call him so they could discuss financial matters concerning their daughter.I told her i would. I called him and he said that he feels it is too early to see her because he is still very hurt. I told him not to forget his daughter and call his ex. Now i'm wondering if maybe i should have told him to see his daughter at the sitter's who happens to be his mother-in-law. My husband thinks i'm crazy for talking to my daughter -in -law like nothing happened. But i told him i want to see my granddaughter.

[joyinaz]

You are in a hard situation. GL with it. I think you should talk to your dil as if nothing has happened. But she asked you to call your son to ask about the money. I think that is wrong. She needs to keep you out of the situation unless she is prepared to deal with all you may want to say to her. But in the interest of your granddaughter, you will have to deal with the dil. And that ismost important being there for her and your son. GL