siblings in difference of opinion

[boristhecat]

My brother visited this past weekend my old hometown a couple of hours away from where me and my husband live. He lives in another state with his wife and kids. We were thinking of visiting since it has been 3 years since i have seen him. I called him, he was staying at my mom's. Right away, he told me he was upset that i had gotten remarried with a divorced man. His beliefs are that if you are divorced, you should not remarry. My ex-husband passed away many years ago, so he said i was free to marry but not to a divorced man. He showed no interest in seeing me. I just let him talk wishing for the conversation to be over. When we ended our conversation i told my husband that i didn't want him to ever meet my brother because of his attitude. So we stayed home this weekend. My husband said if he ever meet him, and my brother made a comment to him about us getting married, he was gonna tell him that he is entitled to his opinion but he would not allow him in our home if he desrespects me. My husband is the most wonderful man i have ever met. I cannot imagine my life without him. I feel blessed to have him in my life. My other family members adore him and always tell him that he is a great guy. My adult children love him. My 4 year old grandson goes fishing with him, barbques, and does chores with him and always wants to come over to see his grandma and grandpa. I can't believe my brother can't see beyond his past marriage and meet this great guy. I say it's his loss. Still, i feel like i lost something with my brother and i feel very sad.

[Mustang30]

((((Boris)))):

I am sorry for your situation. I am sorry that your brother disagrees with your choice. But you have to realize that is it your choice and although your brother is entitled to his opinion is still comes down to the fact that you love your husband and that is who makes you happy. YOur brother should be happy that you found another wonderful man to share you life with.

Is there anyway that you can have a heart to heart talk with your brother? Tell him that his judgemental attitude is hurting you deeply? Tell him that you love your DH and see if there is a way he could get past his inability to accept your new marriage and get to know him?

Whatever happens, just remember you have a right to be happy. You are happy with your current DH. Your brother is entitled to his opinion but it should not affect you to the point where you are not able to enjoy your marriage and your choice. Your brother will just have to deal with it somehow.

I hope some good comes of this situation.

Sending lots of :hug: :hug: :hug: your way.
Mustang30

[gardengal]

I'm so sorry your brother is being so hard hearted. I'm a christian also, and will tell you that Jesus taught love for God and each other as being the MOST important things we can do. Yes the Bible does teach those things about divorce and remarriage, but to sit back and condem the rest of the world for falling short in any area is also a sin. None of us are perfect including christians. I know I sin every day, by thought, attitude, etc...The Bible tells us that the person who says he never sins is a liar, and not one of us are spotless! It sounds like you have a great guy, thank God for your blessing and pray your brother sees the Light.
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,

Michelle

[spasmo]

I think it is sad that your bother is missing out on an opportunity to be a part of your family. I am a Christian too and I was brought up to try and avoid judging others... I think that God already has that base covered. He also has forgiveness and grace covered too... and I am most grateful for that!

[gardengal]

Boris
I recieved this yesterday, it's a daily devotional from I get via e-mail from Purpose Driven Life. Thought you may want to send it to your brother.

Michelle

[gardengal]

Sorry I forgot to paste the article! It's way too early in the morning, yawn.....
March 08, 2006


Loving Sinners
by John Fischer



Sinners are hard to love, especially when you are trying so hard not to be one.

You've heard it said, "Hate the sin; love the sinner," but sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the two. It seems easier to just hate the sinner and the sin and try and steer clear of both. But Jesus befriended sinful people, which raises the question: How do you do that? How do you love sinners when you are trying so hard not to be one?

Well actually, that's the problem. You can't love sinners when you're not one yourself. Loving sinners begins in the mirror. Sin, in order to be more than just a concept, has to have a face on it, and the most accessible one is seen in our own reflection.

Let's back this up just a bit. Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself. That last part about loving yourself is commonly overlooked. It's generally thought that self-love is a given, but this is not the case at all, especially for Christians. Most Christians I know, myself included, are so steeped in guilt that it is impossible for them to love themselves. And even though we keep hearing and even preaching the gospel that we are all sinners and no one can please God except by His grace, we refuse to believe it for ourselves. We can't let go of the thought that we are just a little bit better than common, ordinary sinners -- that we don't need this grace quite as badly as the next guy. It's actually a case of very bad amnesia: we are constantly trying to prove ourselves worthy of being Christians when we forgot what a Christian was in the first place -- someone unworthy to be one were it not for the grace of God.

So instead of just admitting our sin and putting ourselves in the same boat as the rest of humanity, we choose to think that we are just a short step away from having it all together, and thus we live with the guilt of knowing that we aren't. And in doing so, we lose our ability to embrace sinners, because to embrace sinners, we have to embrace our own ugliness, and we can't do that because we never have. What sad, desperate people we are! No wonder Jesus had it in for the Pharisees. They cut themselves out of the blessing. They chose their guilt over His grace, rather than identify with sinners.

Loving sinners starts with being one. And no one has to go out and sin to discover this. Just look in the mirror, accept that scoundrel you see there for who he or she is, accept God's grace and forgiveness, and then start hugging all those other sinners out there who don't know the good news yet. It's really not all that complicated.



John Fischer is the Senior Writer for Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotionals. He resides in Southern California with his wife, Marti and son, Chandler. They also have two adult children, Christopher and Anne. John is a published author and popular speaker.


Click HERE for a free subscription to The Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional, your daily inspiration via email.

Click HERE for a free subscription to The Better Life, your spiritual growth e-newsletter with articles by Rick Warren and others. To see a sample click HERE.

Click HERE for information on Mobile Devotionals sent to your cell phone
($3.99 a month).








© 2006 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved.