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By Lindsey Meier
Making way for a new baby can be one of the most joyful experiences you will ever share with your children. Brothers and sisters are the most permanent relationships on earth, and no one is more closely related than siblings. Yet such closeness brings challenges, the first of which is the arrival of the younger siblings. With careful attention, a mother can cultivate a deep love between siblings from before birth.
Be Happy For Them
Even if you do have worries about how your little darling will handle being displaced as “The Baby,” don't let your fears rub off on him. Never tell the older child that you are concerned or sorry for him. Instead, make a celebration of his or her new special position as a big sister or brother. Let your older ones know that you are very happy for them. For young children, read books, sing songs and do cheers about the coming baby. Being excited about the baby is good for children, especially if they feel that the baby is a sort of special accomplishment of their own. Help your children to take pride in the younger ones from the start.
Double The Love
If this is your second baby, there is no doubt that you may be wondering how in the world you could love another child as much as the one you have been hugging and kissing for so many months or years. Your child may also wonder the same. However, do not make this an issue. Trust in the miracle of love multiplying, and help your first child to know that your love will never lessen. Give extra hugs and cuddles while your lap is still available, but do not make a big deal out of it. Just enjoy being alone with your first-love baby. The extra attention will help to ease insecurities without bringing them to the forefront. If your child does ask questions or comment about sharing your love, reassure him verbally by saying that nothing could take your love away. You will be even more proud and full of a new admiration for your first child when you see what a wonderful sister or brother he or she becomes.
Share The Baby
While you may be the one doing all the work now, be assured that being a older sibling is not an easy job. The responsibility is massive and lasts a lifetime. Let your older child know that the baby belongs to him or her. Instead of saying “I'm having a new baby,” say “you are getting a little baby.” Let him take ownership of the younger sibling. Excitedly announce to everyone that your child is getting his or her own baby brother or sister. Do not make it seem like a big troublesome responsibility, but rather a great gift to be anticipated. Talk about how much fun it will be to dress the baby, get the diapers, put lotion on, and do other things the older child can help with. Practicing with baby dolls can be lots of fun for young children.
When talking about names for the baby, ask the older sibling what they think. You and your husband may be surprised to find that you really like their ideas best. Or the older children may come up with some scrapbook worthy ideas like “Dubert.” Before the baby is born, help the big brother or sister to buy or make a special gift for their special new friend.
Keep The Baby
Your older child may decide that he or she does not want to have a baby. If you find that your child offered to sell or give the little baby away to the neighbors, do not give in. Eventually the baby's inherent cuteness will win the older sibling's heart. Let the two learn to love each other naturally, and always stay positive. The loving atmosphere you provide will help your children to love one another and feel secure as an important part of the family.
Lindsey Meier lives in Texas with the love of her life and their two children. Between diaper changing and dish-washing she enjoys writing, reading and art. Lindsey and her husband aim to live productively and purposefully but don't mind having a little fun along the way.
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