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by Lee Ann Sontheimer Murphy
Unlike television moms who seem to take every mishap in stride, real mothers need a break from the daily routine. Although the maternal instinct is a powerful, even women who adore motherhood need an outlet and an identity other than Mom. Stay-at-home mothers who traded privacy and perfection for a permanent presence with their children deserve personal time. So do working moms who deal with both bosses and families on a daily basis. Many mothers lack the time for their own space and activities but it’s possible even in the most harried household.
Find Personal Space
Privacy begins at home. Infants and toddlers allow little privacy so moms learn early to perform bodily functions with an audience. Once kids are out of the toddler stage, however, moms need to insist on a little solitary time. Closing the bathroom door gives mothers a brief respite from the kids and a moment of all-important privacy. Showering or a long, hot soak in the tub can be another option to escape without leaving the house. If children can’t be left unattended, wait until hubby arrives before retiring to the bath.
Make showers or baths special with scented body wash or products like oils, beads, or bubble bath. Don’t rush but savor the experience. Attend to personal needs – such as shaving legs – that often get sidetracked.
Rejoin the Outside World
Moms who can should insist on at least one solitary outing each week. Shopping is an option but if funds are tight or moms prefer other activities to the mall, there are many other choices. A visit to the public library sans kids can be blissful. Take time to research a topic of interest or find a novel to read in those almost nonexistent spare moments. Visit a local museum, historical site, or go to a movie. Mom time can be the perfect opportunity to watch the latest chick flick or enjoy an adult drama instead of Disney.
Whether your hairstyle is short or long, make an appointment at the salon. A trendy cut can boost morale and a styling session can make moms feel beautiful again.
Invest in a few clothes. Most Moms spend too much time in comfortable jeans and stretched out sweat pans. T-shirts stained with baby food or spills can be replaced with a few attractive garments for special events or personal outings.
Make a lunch date with friends and insist on no children at the table. Reconnect with school pals. Talk girl stuff such as dreams, current events, fashion, beauty, or celebrity gossip. Indulge in an all-girls outing to a matinee or an art gallery. Head for a flea market and find a new treasure.
Enjoy a drive through a park or a road trip to another city. Find a scenic country road that winds through picturesque places and try driving outside the fast lane. Explore the city or hometown. Drive along a beachfront highway or to the top of a nearby peak. Let your imagination soar with destinations that offer a change from school, daycare, the office, or the park.
Take a walk. Find a residential district with lovely old homes and stroll through the streets. Imagine another era and take time to smell the flowers as you pass beautiful gardens.
If possible, consider taking an overnight or weekend trip to a dream destination. Visit wine country, the mountains, or Las Vegas. Enjoy unencumbered travel and sample the nightlife.
No matter what level of education has been gained many moms enjoy going back to school. Sign up for a community course in cake decorating or bird watching or anything of interest. Enroll at the local university to take a course missed during those college years or take courses for pleasure. Find a book club or a study group or a women’s social organization.
Be a volunteer at a woman’s shelter or at the local hospital. An unpaid position can provide a break from diapers, laundry, and dinner but allow a woman to soar with self-respect.
Moms who find that what they seek is no farther than their own backyard can insist on private time. Green thumb mothers can create a garden with lovely blossoms or vegetables that can be an addition to family meals. Create a theme garden with Victorian style, Greek columns, a fishpond or roses.
If all else fails, make a place within your home that is yours and yours alone. A window seat, a cozy corner of a bedroom, a home office, artists’ studio, a sewing nook, or a place to read can give mom a place of her own.
Mom and Me: Be Both
Don’t let being a mom replace your individuality. A happy mother is one with a strong sense of self, a woman with interests and activities that define her, and one who knows her worth. Moms who take a day out will enrich themselves and strengthen home life for the entire family!
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